Post # 1
My father and I have not been on talking terms for many years because, frankly, he was a horrible dad to me. If that were the only factor here, there’s no way I would invite him to my wedding. Unfortunately, my emotions are not the only ones to consider. My father’s aunt and I are very close and, as she’s elderly and had a hard past few years, the family has avoided pointing out that my father and I don’t speak. My brother and sister, who are also very close to me, had a more positive experience with my father as we grew up and are very much of the opinion that it is entirely my fault my father and I don’t speak.
I plan on having my mother walk me down the aisle, regardless, and I would love to have my brother dance with me in place of the traditional Father/Daughter dance. I just can’t figure out whether I should invite my father to the ceremony or not. If I invite him, I’m afraid I will feel uncomfortable and wary the entire time, which is NOT something anyone should have to endure at their own wedding. On the other hand, if I don’t invite him, I’m afraid I’ll hurt some of my closest family and I don’t want that on my mind all day either.
I know there’s no perfect answer for this situation, but any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
It’s obviously your and your FI’s choice. There aren’t many details here so it’s hard to say. If you ever hope to recover your relationship though, you should invite him.
Post # 4
I’m in a similar situation, except my dad doesn’t talk to anyone in the family.I haven’t spoken to him in over 4 years. I’ve spent much of those 4 years standing up for my belief that I don’t want anything to do with him. I’ve had certain members of my family telling me I should get in touch with him.
Long story short he’s not invited to the wedding and my aunt (from my mum’s side) has already said if she hears anyone talking about him on my day she will drag them aside and tell them to shut up. My wedding day isn’t a place for that! Anyone that has a problem with it can leave.
I totally understand that family can be pushy but you need to stand up for what you believe and they need to accept that. I can totally imagine the feeling of my father being there. I would be trying to avoid him all day.
You don’t need that on your wedding day. You just need to relax and have a great time. Do what you think is right and don’t let anyone boss you around!
Post # 5
I wouldn’t invite him if you feel uncomfortable, I am not inviting my father either. We have had a contentious relationship for years and I know that it will become HIS event because everything always has to be focused on him. After our last meeting, I told my sisters no way he was walking me down the aisle. You’re wedding day is going to be stressful, don’t add anything or anyone who’s going to potentially give you headaches.