- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Firstly, Darling Husband and I have been happily married for 8 months – my life is sunshine and rainbows! <3
We eloped on Cinco de Mayo, and did not buy rings. I don’t have an Ering either. This bothers me a little sometimes, but overall it hasn’t really mattered. DH wants us to get rings, and I agree. We’re trying to get preggers and he says he cannot have his wife getting dirty looks for being prego and “unmarried”. Lol. He wants me to wear a wedding band AND and Ering. He’s a geologist, knows a lot about diamonds, and wants to pick the stone – so cute!
I’m not really very girlie, but I am secretly obsessed with rings (I wear sterling stackers all the time). And like many women, I’ve had my dream ring picked out in my head since I was like 10 years old. DH doesn’t know this, and I feel so embarassed for actually caring about the ring. And I have guilt about him spending a lot on jewelry. I am anticipating the ring shopping trip to be very awkward because of this.
He has a lot of financial responsibilities – like 12k each month for child support plus daycare for my stepson, and big college tuition payments for his adopted daughter. (Though her T money is already saved). We initially didnt get rings because we went under contract for a new house and had to drop 40k for the DP. And we’ll owe another 20k at closing in March. This money is already put aside. I know he doesn’t mind dropping cash on jewelry, because when we first started dating, he told me that he bought his ex a 15k engagement ring (which was conviently “stolen” from her during their divorce). He was able to recover her bridal set though, and he says they have a good trade-in value because they are Leo – I actually don’t know what that means. The financing of the ring isn’t an issue, I just have a lot of guilt about it for the reasons listed.
Despite all this, the fact that I WANT my “dream ring” is repulsive to to me! When I tell him the kind of ring I want, I’m terrified of seeming materialistic and shallow. Does anyone else ever feel like this? How can I initiate a conversation about budget and style expectations? He keeps saying “we’ve gotta get rings, we’ve gotta get rings” but then we never end up going, which is my fault because I’m trying to avoid awkwardness. I don’t think what I want is going to cost anywhere near 15k, but I really don’t know. Here’s a pic of what I want.
In addition, I had his ring custom made, in secret, shortly after the wedding. I have no idea how to present it. If he knows I’ve had it all this time, he’s just gonna feel guilty for not buying mine yet. I got him an amazing, rugged, platinum ring from Esty. I spent 2k for it.
help help help