(Closed) Complicated situation with friend that I want to be in the bridal party

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sit down and talk to her about it, tell her that you would love for her to be in your wedding, but if it is too hard for her you will understand. Tell her that you love her and value her friendship 

Post # 3
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
p_lina83:  Oh my heart goes out to her. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. <br /><br />I agree with PP- you can only sit her down and tell her how special she is to you and that you’d love her to be standing by your side but feel totally ok if she isn’t ready to do that. It’s a year away and she can maybe work toward that in therapy. If I were in your shoes I’d prepare myself for the possibility that she says yes but as the day gets closer she might feel like she can’t do it. I’d even tell her if it came to the actual day of and she didn’t feel up to it I wouldn’t be mad if she wanted to sit it out. Make sure she knows that your friendship with her is more important than the role she plays in your wedding and make her feel as comfortable as possible. 

Post # 4
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Manor Park Country House

I second muguet, think that talking to her gently about it and being understanding is the way to go.

My Fiance actually has been through this. He nursed his partner of 7 years right to the end when she had cancer and it took him a long time to be able to stand seeing people together and in love without it hurting. I don’t think he spent time with anyone, let alone single people for quite a while after she had died.

Just let her know that whatever decision she makes you fully support her and love her no matter what. That’s all you can do really. It’s lovely that you are being so sensitive of her situation, you sound like a wonderful friend.

Post # 7
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
p_lina83:  I think you need to talk with her privately. Ask her if she would like to be in your bridal party but tell her you understand if she cannot. I don’t think you need to get parents or her sisters opinions. No one knows how she truly feels except for her. I guarantee sher be more hurt if you didn’t ask her at all. 

Post # 8
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Manor Park Country House

View original reply
p_lina83:  I’m glad she is making progress 🙂 I think she would probably be honored if you asked her to be part of your wedding party, I would however ask her privately. She might be a little uncomfortable being so involved in a wedding but feel pressured to say yes in front of others? Anyway, good luck and I hope it goes well for you!

Post # 9
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe a nice handwritten letter could be a way to talk to her about it? That way she can read it on her own and be able to feel how she wants to feel without you being there with her and she can take the time she needs to think it over before responding. In person she may say yes but after thinking about it more end up not feeling up for it. 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

If it were one of my friends, I would probably talk with her parents first before bringing up the subject with her. They are the ones who see her on her good days and her bad; I would guess that they would better know if this was something she could handle or even be beneficial with her.

It’s not a matter of going behind her back or treating her like a child, it’s more that if your friend’s parents are aware of what you’re going to ask of her, they are better prepared to support her if she struggles at any time…

Hope that helps 🙂

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