(Closed) Complicated titles

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m no Emily Post but I think Dr. and Mrs. Smith-Jones is appropriate. And for couples that kept maiden names, just as you suggested.

Post # 4
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

for the same sex couple I would do the first option.

 For the maiden named friends I would choose the example you gave…that makes the most sense to me.  Honestly, if they are good friends of yours they are going RIP open the envelope and not give a second thought to what it says outside ๐Ÿ™‚  I’m sure they would wildly appreciate all this thought you are giving it!!

Post # 5
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I found Laura Hooper’s post on this infinitely helpful http://www.weddingbeepro.com/2009/03/06/envelope-addressing-tips/

 

Here’s her tips on your situation – sort of- but I think you can meld them all together:

Married couple, both are doctors, different last names:
Outer: Doctor Christina Yang
(and) Doctor Preston Burke
Inner: Doctor Yang
(and) Doctor Burke

Married couple, both are doctors, same last name:
Outer: Doctor Derek Sheperd (and) Doctor Meredith Sheperd
Or: The Doctors Sheperd
Inner: The Doctors Sheperd

Married couple, wife is a doctor (with or without different last names):
Outer: Doctor April King (and) Mr. Arthur Flores
Inner: Doctor King
(and) Mr. Flores
**Note** It is never EVER correct to write Mr. and Dr. King if both spouses share a last name.

Two adult males living together as a couple (alphabetically in this case, or by personal preference). Adult male roommates should each get their own invite:
Outer: Mr. Ryan Alvarez
Mr. Michael Stevens
Inner: Mr. Alvarez
Mr. Stevens

Two adult females living together as a couple (alphabetically, or by personal preference in this case) Adult female roommates should each get their own invite:
Outer: Miss/Ms. Rachel Michaelson
Miss/Ms. Marybeth Adams
Inner: Miss/Ms. Michaelson
Miss/Ms. Adams

 — My guess at you situation:

Dr. Jane Smith-Jones and Mrs. Joan Smith-Jones

Then for maiden name couples: Dr. Jane Smith and Mrs. Joan Jones

Laura is super helpful I posted a question on her post on this topic and she got right back to me

 

 

Post # 6
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Agree with katrinab!

Post # 8
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

sarskb, that’s very helpful as I’ll be doing that this weekend ๐Ÿ™‚  Also, were you abbreviating or is it correct to spell out Doctor but abbreviate Mr (not Mister)?   And I know there was another thread on this, but do you know about whether it’s correct to use Doctor for PhD’s?  I suspect that facutly (my PhD advisor is invited) should not be referred to as Professor in a social context, but I’m not entirely sure…or whether I should call them Doctor.

doctorgirl you might want to find out if your friend preferes Mrs. or Ms.  I may change my name but I don’t think I’ll ever want to use Mrs.  And I’m going to got out on a stereotyping limb and guess it’s not unlikely that a spouse in a same-sex relationship might feel the same way.

Post # 9
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

I think someone needs to update Etiquette books! There are so many tricky situations out there now.

I think Dr. & Mrs. Smith-Jones sounds the most formal and "correct", but what do I know! LOL ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 11
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Note that you would use "Dr." (abbreviated, not spelled out as Doctor) only when the person is a medical doctor. If they have a PhD but are not a medical doctor, then you use the regular title of Mr. or Mrs. or Ms.

I would do this:

Dr. Jane and Mrs. Joan Smith-Jones (repeating the last name when they share one is redundant) OR Dr. & Mrs. Smith-Jones.

Dr. Jane Smith and Ms. Joan Jones (when spouses do not share a last name, technically there is no "Mrs.," just "Ms.")

Then there’s the situation of a gay couple who share a last name where both would technically get the same title. You could do Ms. Jane & Ms. Joan Smith-Jones, or Mrs. Jane & Mrs. Joan Smith-Jones, or The Smith-Jones Family. (I find awkward Mrs. and Mrs. Jane and Joan Smith-Jones, or Ms. and Mrs. Jane Smith-Jones, or Ms. and Ms. Jane and Joan Smith-Jones).

Post # 12
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Okay, so Laura’s post (should have read it before) does indicate that PhD’s should be "Dr." but you can abbreviate it for them, not medical doctors.

" Courtesy titles may be abbreviated, such as Mr., Mrs., but Doctor should be spelled out (unless they are a Ph.D., in which case abbreviating is acceptable)."

 I personally think many MD’s have enough of an ego without following etiquette traditions that exalt their professional status over other people’s…sorry DoctorGirl, I’m sure you’re not one of the people I’m thinking of ;).  I really don’t care if people call me Dr. or not, but I do care if people treat me in a way that indicates my professional status is less worthy of recognition than anyone else’s (i.e. everyone is Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms or not).  I’m saying this b/c regardless of tradition I suspect that other guests might feel the same way.  Though, FWIW, socially *I* actually go by Ms. Fizics, but I would guess there are many people who might feel offended by that.

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