- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Ok, I work in a lab (we’ll call it lab A) and I also have a close working/social relationship with a smaller second lab (lab B). Lab A has about 10 members, lab B has 3. My boss has really nurtured my career over the last 5 years, and will probably continue to do so, but on a personal level I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with him, but feel a moral obligation to invite him. The boss of Lab B is lovely, supernice, super supportive of me, and could also really help my future.
I’m not having separate evening reception guests, all guests are going to be at the meal and the ceremony. When I started, my lab was small – about 3 of us. In the first couple of years, one member of my lab got married, and everyone was invited to her evening reception. Recently, a new member of my lab got married, kept it very quiet, and only invited our boss to the whole thing. People (not me) felt this was pretty rude.
In lab B, I was invited to one member’s hen party, but not her wedding, and to the hen party and evening reception of another. If I was having a party, I would probably invite everyone, but I’m not that fussed to have any of them at my wedding; I just don’t feel very close to any of them.
If I invite everyone plus partners, they’ll take up 2 tables at my wedding, which seems an awful lot for people I’m not that bothered about. One option I considered was to invite everyone without their partners, as a compromise. However, recently, I have felt quite badly treated by some members of my lab, so now I’m considering not inviting them at all, and just inviting my boss and lab B. The trouble is, we generally have a pretty good working atmosphere in our lab, and I don’t want to disrupt it by making clear my (secret until now) feelings about people.
I don’t feel I can invite nobody, because I’m inviting someone who’s left, who’s still close to the people I don’t want to invite, so the wonders of Facebook will mean they’ll see that the person who left was there and they weren’t. Stress!