(Closed) COMPROMISE – Whose got it right/wrong? Poll

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What kind of compromise is fair?
    Music listening to wear head phones : (168 votes)
    86 %
    Other to wear ear plugs : (7 votes)
    4 %
    Alternate days : (21 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Well, ear plugs are super uncomfortable, and because the music is an “extra”- not a normal sleep need, I would say headphones it is!

    Post # 4
    324 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Music is a ‘want’, not a need, 

    Sleeping is a need, not a ‘want’.

    No music, or using headphones. If the other person wanted to make a gesture, it would be sweet of them to occationally offer to wear the ear-plugs, but it is on the person who wants the music to make sure the other person can sleep well.

    If the other person could sleep fine with the music on, but simply had a preference to it being off, or if the one person NEEDED it on to fall asleep, then they should switch days. But this does not seem to be the case.

    Post # 5
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Since the radio listener doesn’t NEED it to fall asleep, but the non listen CANT fall asleep with it on, I’d go earphones. 

    Post # 6
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @Sarahbear:  Try actual over the ear headphones rather than earbuds, or the other way around if the over the ear kind are uncomfortable. Try on many pairs of headphones until the perfect pair to wear in sleeping position is found 🙂

    Post # 7
    2126 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Have you ever tried to wear earplugs? They suck!! My huband likes to fall asleep to the TV, I do not…so I usually ask him to put it on sleep mode and have it turn off automatically in 20 minutes, and to turn it way down so that I can at least spend those 20 minutes getting into sleepy mode…usually he’s snoring by 8 minutes, but he’s not deep enough to wear he wouldn’t notice if I clicked it off, so I just wait it out untl the TV turns off. I guess I lose sleep waiting for him to fall asleep…but it’s not that bad.


    Post # 8
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Definitely agree with PP. the music listener is the one who wants the ‘benefit’ and should therefore be the one the make the ‘sacrifice’ ie. headphones, in order to have that benefit, ie. listening to music. 

    Post # 9
    4656 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Definitely headphones. It’s the music-wanter that is adding an issue to the situation. They should be polite and find a pair of headphones they are comfortable sleeping in. Earplugs are uncomfortable and often ineffective anyway.

    Post # 11
    666 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Is there something you could both listen to? I use an app on my iPhone which plays various things like crackling fires, and pan pipes, and rain, etc. I wouldn’t be able to sleep listening to the radio, but this relaxes me and I’m off before it turns itself off, which is set at 7 minutes. 

    The Fiance doesn’t like to listen to music whilst he’s trying to sleep, but he sometimes even asks me to put it on. 

    It might be worth a try? Maybe keep trying different things until you find what works for you both. 

    Post # 12
    491 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t think I would like wearing earplugs, the idea of my phone or an alarm possibly going off and me not hearing it would make me anxious. Of course, my SO sleeps like a log so I wouldn’t count on him waking up either. 

    I’d have the music listener get a more comfortable pair of headphones. 

    Post # 13
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    You can still hear music through ear plugs. Ear plugs don’t totally block sound – just muffle it. I actually wear ear plugs on a nightly basis because I am such a light sleeper, so music would be a no-go for me, even with my earplugs.

    Post # 14
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @CoCoCourtney:  I wear earplugs every night (the highest rated ones) and I can still hear my alarm/phone. Earplugs muffle, but don’t block all sound.

    Post # 15
    1511 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Sarahbear:  I agree with the majority here … The one who wants to listen to music at night should wear headphones.  It would be one thing if the person couldn’t sleep without music on (that was the case for me for years, but I gradually weaned myself off by turning it on less and less frequently before bed) … At that point, I’d at least make the effort to compromise and wear earplugs now and then.

    When I needed music for sleeping, I always used headphones when I was living with roommates in college.  I just felt like it was the courteous thing to do.  When I was older and lived alone, I obviously didn’t need to do so.  That being said, there are definitely some comfortable headphones available.  I would do as others have suggested, and have the music listener try out some different types to see what works best for him/her.

    Post # 16
    7276 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @crayfish:  +1 I wear ear plugs every night as well and they do not block out all sound. They help muffle it which is all I need to fall asleep but if someone needs complete silence to fall asleep the ear plugs won’t be very helpful.

    Also, I agree with people who say the radio is an extra I think they should be wearing head phones.

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