(Closed) Concern with the RSVP for Children (not invited)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe you can add something like “We have reserved X # of seats for you” on the RSVP card to indicate that only the people addressed on the invitations are invited.

Post # 4
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

What we’re doing is actually printing the people invited on the response card (granted, we’re printing ourselves and have a small list) so there is zero question as to who is and is not invited.
It looks like this:
The favor of a reply is requested by October 1st
Mr. John Smith
_ Will be attending with pleasure and will be having
__ chicken ___Beef ___Vegetarian
_ Must decline with deep regret

Mrs. Jane Smith
^repeat.

If that’s not your cup of tea, I recommend what baldor1 suggested.

Post # 5
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I did what the PP suggested – had a spot on the RSVP card that read

” ___ of ___ in your party attending” and I filled in that second line myself with the number invited.

Just prepare yourself for the possibility that people will still try to add to RSVPs. It happens all the time. Unfortunately you (or your Fiance, depending on whose guest it is) may need to have awkward phone conversations if people are trying to add their children but you just need to stay firm if that’s what you guys have decided and not make exceptions.

Post # 6
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sigh…I’m in the same boat sistah!  I just sent out a few invites out alst week for friends with kids.  I decided to go the “We have reserved __ seats in your honour” route.  Hopefully not only do they get the hint, but they won’t be offended.

Post # 7
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I addressed it to the parents.  I had only one return it: Mr and Mrs X plus 2 children.   I called that person up and said you can’t bring your kids.  They said “oh adults only wedding?”  Which I thought was a lot of nerve for them to even push the issues but calmly i answered “No, there will be kids but children of family only.”   they were clearly tifted but I was and still am even more outraged at their nerve.  

Post # 8
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh I also included “Respectfully, an adults only occassion” on the Guest Information insert card as well. If that doesn’t get the point across I don’t know what will.

Post # 9
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mmuncha: i wouldnt even tell them that there ARE kids invited – it makes it worse.

and yeah i did the ___ seats are reserved in your honor and had on the insert for the reception “adult reception” to describe the festivities.

most get it. and arent brash enough to call. had one aunt who emailed me and i told her the dilly yo and got yelled at by my mom who i thought was in my corner but apparently was lying to me the whole time and was gonna just have them show up (and who knows probably still is).

Post # 10
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am having the same problem! We really cant afford to have my FI’s family bring all their kids (mostly his cousin’s have multiple children each). The only kids we are allowing are the flower girl, the ring bearer and then a general rule that we will invite any kids who are over 10. The problem is mostly with his family and I know some of them might be upset that their children aren’t invited but they aren’t the ones paying for the wedding, my parents are and i think its rude for them to expect my parents to pay for them to bring their children. If we could afford it I would have no problem but it is simply a money matter. Because there are so many kids I think we are going to include the “Adult Reception to follow” on the invitations or the reception card to get the point across, although I know its technically an etiquette “no-no”

Post # 11
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah we just put the names of the people invited with one family whose daughter is a Junior Bridesmaid or Best Man so her and her brother are invited. We had my FI’s brother’s inlaws put down two of their daughters who weren’t invited to the wedding on their RSVP. One who is 23 and living on her own. Ummm…. yeah not cool. We are waiting to find out how the numbers are turning out and if we are over Fiance is going to have to chat with them.

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