Post # 1
There’s a guy who I’ve known for a few years from church. He has a mild physical disability and has had a difficult life due to several situations. He had to drop out of college to take care of a sick family member who died around a year ago. There was no real family support and it was really hard on this guy. He missed out on a large part of his 20’s due to having to care for this family member. He’s now close to 30. It took him a long time to find a job but he recently found something. It apparently is a job that doesn’t pay much and he has to work a lot of hours. He also has never been in a relationship that I know of. He’s a friendly guy and all that but I feel like girls don’t consider him someone they’d date due to his mild physical disability. I’m writing this because one of my friend’s was looking at craigslist from our city and saw several posts on missed connections and rants and raves and we think they were all written by this guy. All of the posts are from someone highlighting the fact that they are lonely and desire a relationship but always get rejected. The posts seem to have gotten more concerning. He’ll write about couples he sees in church or restaurants and even the grocery store. He’ll write about how lucky the guy is and how he’s not dealing with loneliness or rejection. He writes at least once a day. I can’t be 100 percent certain that it’s him but I feel like it is. It concerns me a lot.
Would these types of posts concern you? Should I say something to him?
Post # 2
No, Just stay out of it. Maybe him writting his feelings helps him get through whatever is going on.
Post # 3
No. I wouldn’t assume they were him and even if so – he’d be using it to be anonymous.
The thing you could actually do is for you all from his church start reaching out and try to be genuine friends to him. Not gossiping or assuming you know him and his state of mind without actually getting to know him.
Post # 4
why do you think it’s him?
There are a lot of lonely people. Whoever is writing that stuff could obviously do with some therapy because it sounds obsessive and resentful, which isn’t a good combo, but there isn’t anything you can do about it.
I agree with PP that it seems like you all are gossiping about a mildly disabled person and assuming for some reason that he is the author of these disturbing posts. Many disabled people have full lives, are loved, etc and many able bodied people are socially challenged and struggle with relationships.
Post # 5
Agree with PPs – you don’t actually know if it’s this guy who is writing the posts, and it’s none of your business if it is. Either try to really get to know him and be friends with him, or leave him alone.
Post # 6
Nope. You don’t know it is him.
Post # 7
I’d do my best to include him in things. Thanksgiving is coming up – I find holidays to be very lonely times being away from my family, and I have a hubby and kids! I just wish I was closer to extended family. He probably finds holidays really hard. Invite him to dinner. The more he gets out and meets people, the more likelihood of finding a few good friends. Whether it’s him or not in the posts, you’d be doing a good thing by including him.
Post # 8
If you are concerned about him, invite him to do something or join in on something a group of friends is doing. Honestly if I were him I’d find it pretty insulting if someone assumed I was writing a bunch of stuff on Craiglist and it wasn’t actually me.