Concerned About E-Ring. Advice?

posted 10 months ago in Rings
  • poll: What should I do?
    Keep the diamond, exchange the setting. : (2 votes)
    9 %
    Keep the setting, exchange the diamond. : (3 votes)
    13 %
    Keep the ring. : (18 votes)
    78 %
  • Post # 2
    1661 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I don’t know what you should do, because it’s really up to you. You could keep it and see if it becomes a problem with diamonds falling out. It probably depends on how hard you are on your rings–I’m pretty clumsy in general. I have some small diamonds, but my ring has a guarantee on the diamonds. It’s a shame that you paid more for the diamond than possibly it’s worth. However, if you like it you might as well keep it. There’s not anything you can do if it’s a blood diamond now (it has already been mined and bought). A platinum solitaire would be more secure than yours with the pave. I think your ring is very pretty as is. I personally would not own a ring with a pave band setting only because I’m so clumsy. 

    Post # 3
    708 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I think your ring is stunningly beautiful, and if I were you, I would keep it. I think you should just let yourself love it without focusing on these slight negatives.

    To address your worries:

    1) I doubt the store would give you a full refund for your ring, so essentially the “damage is already done” if it was a blood diamond (i.e., your money went to the store, and the store bought the diamond from wherever they did). I think you have to just accept that fact that you did your best to make an ethical purchase.

    2) Was it yellow gold that you rhodium plated, or white gold? If yellow, then that’s weird, and maybe I’d consider returning it. But if it’s just real white gold that is showing through the rhodium plating, I actually think natural white gold is a beautiful color (a “warm white”, if you will), and nothing to worry about. I would just stop plating it and learn to love its real color.

    3) If the setting gets damaged someday, the company should probably fix it for you, depending on their warranty policy. Or if they won’t fix it, maybe that would be time to get a new ring (maybe it’d happen 5 or 10 years down the road, and could make for a great anniversary to get a new ring then). But there’s no sense worrying about the setting if it’s not damaged yet.

    I think this ring was given to you with love, and your Fiance sounds hurt that you want to change it. So maybe let go of these worries.

    You should do what makes you happy, of course, but this is just my perspective!

    Post # 4
    877 posts
    Busy bee

    Don’t keep redipping the ring! Rhodium is TERRIBLE for the environment. 

    Also, I’m assuming your company is Brilliant Earth. I think the jury’s still out on whether their “beyond conflict free” line is a scam or not.

    At this point, what’s done is done. You already have ring in hand. Is buying a new ring any less destructive? Of course not. Literally the best thing you can do is nothing. 

    If the setting does fall apart in the future, get the diamond you already have reset in recycled, non-plated gold. 

    Any other option to make yourself feel better is really just going to be worse for the world in the long run. 

    ETA: If ethics is your main concern, definitely don’t buy a moissanite or lab diamond. The only true ethical solution is an antique or secondhand diamond. Lab made stones aren’t created in a vacuum, the process to create them involves energy and destruction as well.

    But really, the most ‘ethical’ choice is to stop consuming more diamonds by holding on to what you have. 

    Post # 5
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I’d keep it and reset the center,put a gemstone in the original and use it as an occasional right hand ring. I’m currently looking into lab made stones myself, there’s a lot of options out there! Goodluck 🙂

    Post # 6
    66 posts
    Worker bee

    bridetobe2018 :  First of all, I think your ring is beautiful! It looks great on you. If you do start having problems with losing stones out of your setting, then I would re-evaluate getting a different setting, but if you are past the time frame for doing an exchange or getting a refund I wouldn’t worry about it yet unless you are truly unhappy with it. As far as ethics go, I agree with the previous posters that at this point it would be best to just hold on to it since the money has already been spent.

    Second, I had the same problems with white gold as you are having. I think it has more to do with the chemistry of your skin than the quality of the product. Within 1 month my white gold rings appeared to be yellowing, where the natural white gold was showing through as opposed to the bright white you get with the rhodium plating. My husband’s ring, however, it still super white and shiny one year later. We have the same wedding band (mine was 2.5mm, his was 6mm) from the same company. I researched it a bit and found that some people have more acidic skin that causes the rhodium to wear off faster than others. Product usage might also contribute to the problem. I definitely use more lotions, cleaning products, soaps, etc., than my husband.  I ultimately traded my white gold setting in for a platinum setting. I love the idea of the natural (or unplated) white gold, and have seen some amazing rings made with it, but I didn’t like how it looked on my rings. I think I like it better in rings that are purposely left unplated, or rings with a matte finish (check out Single Stone or Erika Winters).

    Post # 7
    1611 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    bridetobe2018 :  if you’re talking about Brilliant Earth,  they are denying the allegation and counter suing the accuser for defamation…

    I would keep your stone and setting. You may be one of those unfortunate individuals who reacts extremely to the rhodium plating, thus it needs more frequent re-plating..  That’s not the manufacturers fault… you would have been better off paying more for platinum but since you didn’t choose that at the time,  you have what you have.

    Of course if this is also about remorse for spending so much for an expensive mined diamond, synthetic genuine diamonds are a little cheaper.  If you’re ok with a diamond simulant than moissanite can be had relatively cheaply.

    Post # 9
    360 posts
    Helper bee

    bridetobe2018 :  I think they make their engagement rings to withstand the everyday little bumps and stuff that the ring goes through. It’s a pricey company so I think they set their diamonds well. I agree with the other posters that there’s no way to prove if your diamond is a blood diamond. 

    Post # 10
    245 posts
    Helper bee

    First, your ring is beautiful! I would say it depends on how important the ethical sourcing is to you. Personally, I would keep the setting and exchange the stone. I sold my diamond rings a couple of years ago because I struggled with the idea of blood diamonds, especially after seeing the movie.

    If you can live with the stone, understanding it may or may not be ethically sourced, I’d say keep it. If you can’t, exchanging the stone doesn’t mean you’re getting rid of your engagement ring. You’re just changing the stone to reflect your principles. 

    The rhodium plating is a different issue. As a previous Bee mentioned, it may be your skin’s reaction to the plating. If that’s the case, you might want to consider a different setting completely. It’s going to be a hassle constantly redipping it and may affect the integrity of the ring. 

    It’s really of factor of what you can and cannot live with. You’re going to have this ring forever. It’s better to make the changes now before you are super attached to it. Just follow your heart. 

    Post # 11
    66 posts
    Worker bee

    bridetobe2018 :  If the setting isn’t really conducive to your lifestyle, I don’t think anyone can fault you for wanting one that is. Especially if you are like many women who never take their rings off, myself included. I have been reading the Wedding Bee boards and the PriceScope ones as well, and tons of people get different rings or upgrades for one reason or another. Some people get an attitude about it or think it is silly, but really it is a personal choice and about doing what is best for you. I can understand being sentimental and wanting to wear the ring you had for your proposal for the rest of your life. That’s great and definitely works for many people, but everyone is different and things happen. Rings get lost, stolen, or damaged, weight gain/loss makes the ring not fit anymore and resizing isn’t always an option, or sometimes people just want something different.

    I ended up getting a different diamond when I replaced my setting. We had a short courtship and my husband wanted to pay cash for the ring, so it wasn’t exactly what we would have gotten under different circumstances. I would have married him with or without the ring, but he wanted me to have something at the time to signify our engagement. We could afford something more now then when we got engaged, and since I was already sending my ring off to exchange the setting we thought we may as well take care of the stone at the same time instead of sending it off yet again at a later time. The company we ordered from has an upgrade policy so the money from the first diamond went towards the second. I got back my old setting (since it was non-refundable at that point) and will probably find an emerald to put in it as a right hand ring with the intention of eventually giving it to my stepdaughter (emerald is her birthstone) once she is responsible enough to have a piece of jewelry like that. Maybe high school or college graduation. So, even though it isn’t being used as an engagement ring it will still be special.

    Post # 12
    253 posts
    Helper bee

    I too am obviously opposed to blood diamonds and such practices. Here’s my take though: jewelers can say their diamonds are not, but honestly we will never know because there is nothing that will identify diamonds as such. So if you replace it, it either will be or it won’t, as we cannot trace the exchange of hands all the way back to the mine.

    It is a beautiful ring! If it does happen to be one of those diamonds, then maybe think of it as your beautiful good energy transmuting it to good energy, like healing the circumstances. Like sending light to the world (it sure needs that!!) In a way, kind of like rescuing a poor animal from a shelter and giving him/her the love needed and transforming his/her life. I know it’s not the same scenario but it’s not as though you were / are supporting those unethical practices on purpose, since you did buy the ring in good faith with your own integrity, so your heart was in the right place. I think in this world there are so many practices and dishonesties going on that if we knew them all, there would probably be no products we could buy in good conscience.

    As for the white gold, I had gotten my rings rhodiumed and it lasted a long time. But when it wore off, I realized I really loved the look of the white gold. It does have a very slightly yellow tone when you compare it next to a rhodium ring, but it doesn’t at all look like yellow gold. The warmth is really very beautiful. And when they are polished, they look even more white. So I’m done with the rhodium.

    Post # 13
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    That’s awful that you are in this position!! I think this is what class action lawsuits are for! They should be penalized for misleading many people looking to pay a premium for ethical sourcing of all materials. I would keep the ring if I were you, but demand the company pay and either return the $$ or better compensate workers and the countries whose land was unearthed and streams polluted for the mining. 

    Post # 15
    253 posts
    Helper bee

    Good for you. It’s a gorgeous ring! Congratulations and well wishes for your upcoming wedding!

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