- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I am a little concerned about how much my Fiance drinks. When we were younger, we would go out drinking together and have a lot of fun. He has always gone out more than me and been more of a drinker than me, but it wasn’t an issue before we lived together really. He does get a little crazy when he drinks – not mean or anything, just crazy. Like, wanting to do silly, weird things. I’ll give an example of a time we got in a huge fight about it.
We were out for my birthday with a few friends at a club. He was getting progressively more drunk, while I had had enough and was ready to go home. I kept telling him I wanted to go home and he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to keep partying until they closed. First of all, that annoyed me. We had a big family brunch the next day and he knew I didn’t want him showing up hungover. But he can never, ever stop the party and always has to be the one to stay until the end. He was acting all silly, kept pulling me out to dance, he even took my engagement ring off and put it in his MOUTH (this is what I mean by CRAZY).
Well, finally our friends who drove us were ready to leave so we left. The whole ride he was saying silly, stupid things, making stupid jokes, and being annoying/obnoxious. When we got home, I just wanted to sleep. Not five minutes after we got in bed he got up and went into the kitchen and I heard him opening a bottle of wine. I went out to the kitchen and took it from him and told him to go to bed. He didn’t listen to me and took the wine bottle from the fridge again and tried to open it. I grabbed it and threw it outside. Then, he tried to take another half open bottle of wine from the fridge, and I took it and poured it down the sink. I yelled at him and went back to bed. So then he decides he is going to sleep ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR. He was incoherent and mumbling and being stupid.
The next morning, I was livid. I told him I didn’t want to marry someone with this serious of an alcohol problem. My father was an alcoholic and that is a main reason why he and my mom divorced. I told him he needed to make some changes if this were to continue. The thing is, he didn’t really even seem to think it was a big deal. He realized I was pissed and finally agreed to have a limit of five drinks when he goes out from now on. I think he just said it because I was mad.
Now, I don’t necessarily think Fiance has an alcohol problem. In the past 3 years or so, he has cut back on his drinking a lot (ie he used to drink during the week and rarely, if ever, does now except maybe a beer or glass of wine here or there). But when he does get drunk, watch out, because he gets crazy and and won’t stop until the sun comes up.
We were talking recently about a wedding he went to, where the groom got so drunk he passed out and threw up. I said he better not do that. He said he wouldn’t but then he has kind of been joking about it lately, saying he is going to get really drunk at our wedding. I made it clear that it was not a joke to me and I don’t want to marry him if he can’t respect that. But, he really does not seem to be taking me seriously at all.
Am I overreacting here? I mean, now and again I like to go out and have a few drinks and get drunk and silly. But like, once every other month max, and I know when to stop. Even though he doesn’t get crazy drunk all the time, when he does it is like all out a mess and stresses me out so much. I don’t know how to make him realize this is serious. He thinks I am overreacting. What should I do?