(Closed) Concerned about my niece, what do you think?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

The only thing overly concerning here is the touching privates comments. It is very normal for kids to ask to “kiss like mommy and daddy.” Is there a possibilty that she walked in on your brother and SIL doing something sexual? I would have your mom mention it to your brother/SIL so they are aware of what she said and see if it is something she has done before.

Post # 5
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

That is a little scary.  I would talk to your brother and SIL and ask if they have noticed any strange behavior.  Maybe a child counselor could be of help.

 

Post # 6
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

First of all kids that age are very interested in things that are considered taboo. If mom or dad explained about her private parts and what function they serve. Like going to the bathroom or whatever. Smaller kids especially. Perhaps she caught something on television and thought it was funny. I remember trying to explain to my at the time 3 year old daughter the difference between her and her baby brother. She thought it was hysterical that he had a “tail” Of course then everyone who came to visit she wanted to show them she didnt have a tail and he did.

We had to explain that you can be showing off your private areas and you cant show people your baby brothers private area. It went on for a while and then it stopped, until three years later when I caught her trying to stand on top of the toilet and pee standing up. Apparently she walked in on her brother going to the bathroom and wanted to do what he did.

It could be that she walked in on her mom and dad in the bathroom and asked what something was and they explained its private parts but didnt tell her that your not suppose to want to touch them or mention them.

Post # 7
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t be too concerned about it either, but I would definitely monitor it and tell her parents about what she said. My little brother is 5 and loves to give “cow kisses” which is pretty much licking your face. And while I would be concerned if she told the wrong person about “touching privates”, I don’t think it’s all that unnatural for small children to be more open about their bodies. It just has to be explained what is “good touch, bad touch”.

Post # 8
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That sounds very sad and scary.  I hope nobody is abusing her, but that is what these behaviors sound like.  🙁

Post # 9
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I find this behavior only midly alarming. Kids are curious about their bodies at that age and if what they say gets a reaction out of an adult they will say or do more of the same. My 5 year old son loves to try to stick his tongue in my mouth every once in a while when he kisses me because he finds it hilarious that I am grossed out by it. I think if you feel really strongly that something is going on you should address it for your peace of mind. 

Post # 10
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would talk to her parents about this because it very well could be serious..

Post # 11
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would be concerned. Talk to the parents. Sure, it could be nothing, but it’s better to be a little overprotective at times like this than to ignore it. I hope everything will be okay.

Post # 12
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I think that trying to explain away red flags or brushing them off as probably nothing is how we end up with a poll on WB where 53% of the respondents have been phsycially abused in some way. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/not-a-fun-post-spinoff

I’m not sure what you can do yourself since you’re not a parent, guardian, teacher, or even in the same state. That definitely puts a wrench in things. But I would recommend this article http://www.checklistmommy.com/2012/02/09/tricky-people-are-the-new-strangers/ Send it to your Mom and your SIL if you feel like you can. I don’t have kids but you bet your boots I’d tell my sister if her daughters said/did anything like that.

Post # 13
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

@LAZB:  If you do nothing and find out that it was something, you’re going to feel awful.  If you say something and it turns out to be nothing, what’s the downside?

Trust your gut, and good luck.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you, and your niece.

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