Post # 1
they will on the day and i will be named the bad guy again.
Its a bit of a long story with two parts but i will keep it short as possible:
This is my first marriage but my fi second as he got married at 20 it was a small white wedding as she want and not him. so as far as his family go he has been married before and we also have a 5 year old together so they dont need to be interested in the slightest. i dont want them to pay for anything as we are just having a tiny wedding party of 4guests total but with a big party a day later for family. Half of me thinks its because there not coming to see the I do bit will be 3hour drive away from were we all live, the other half thinks its cus its his second and they dont care but we are having abig party for them after. they could at least ask about that.
The not invited guest. fi sister got married 6months ago and did alot to help her, eg made all the invites, made all the decorations, paidedfor the party favours, made the bridesmaid dresses, flower girl dresses and alteredher wedding dress to fit etc etc. but after a crap hen party were another family member tried to start a fight and i left not wanting to let it get out of hand.
Post # 3
any way at her wedding the week or so after fi sister turned bridezilla at me and her mums boy friend, we left early but 3days later some horrible texts came from her all personal about my sewing work onthe dresses which is my business. i finnal saw red and let all the crap that had put up with for her and from her come out on a very bad voice mail. i know i shouldnt have be i saw red and she needed to be told how much of bridezilla she had been. anyway the up shot was a death threat from her so understanblily i dont want her at our party. i know she has another wedding that day and there for couldnt come anyway even if we were talking.
now my head i spinning with the fact that fi dont care about any thing to do with us getting married but come the party all the questions will be about why is fi sister not ther, why is she not invited? i just feel so poo about because if i bring up the party subject fi family change the subject, given that fi sister is not invited and she is bitching about me to anyone who will listen i dont even know if fi family will come and that will make fi feel crap.
Im really scared it will all end up in a big mess and our party will become horrible costly yuck day.
sorry this long (and across two posts it wouldnt let me do it in one bit)
Post # 5
@rainbowbee: Hang in there, sister. You care about this wedding (and party) and it’s going to be your first. Don’t let a few negative people bring you down. Don’t pay the slightest attention to them (I know, easier said that done) and go ahead with what you think will be the best. Mother Teresa has been called Hell’s Angel and a human trafficker and God alone knows what. Joan of Arc was burnt on a stake. Mary Magdalene has been called a whore. If even these women were not spared the barbs of criticism then who are we? You can’t make everybody happy. Just do what makes you happy and forget about the naysayers.
Post # 6
All of this is really unfair to you. Your fiance was married before, but you weren’t. You’re a first (and hopefully ONLY) time bride, so your fiance should understand how big a deal this is to you. You deserve to have the day of your dreams. It sounds like your fiance didn’t get to have the day of his dreams either the first time he got married so I don’t understand why he doesn’t seem to want to do better this time around. You both have a golden opportunity to have the wedding that you’ve BOTH always wanted! As for his sister, I think she was pretty ungrateful and horrible to you, and I don’t condone sending anyone death threats for one second, but weddings do CRAZY things to people and I think she was probably just being over-emotional. Is it not possible to make peace with her? You don’t have to take continued abuse from her, but for your fiance’s sake, I think you should try to see if you can repair the relationship with her this time. Hopefully she isn’t like this all the time. Weddings really do bring out the worst in people.
Post # 7
@Aquababes: thank you for the support and kind words.
@MoonlightRose: The more i think about it I can see fi cares in his own way as he has started looking into honey moon hotles just not his family. Honestly i think that my fi frist wedding was such a big mistake all round given that they had the white cake, white dress and fancy suits but my other half is a heavy metal loving biker and his ex is a gothic loving biker that he finds it hard to see past the fear of white, who knows why they did a white wedding? i think our plans for a little none white wedding with 4 guests suit me and fi just fine, i just wish that fi family would at least pretend to care after all if they dont care why do we need to do a party for them after? i surpose im upset at myself for caring that they dont seem to care. if that makes sence.
I really dont know what to do about fi sister i think you summed her up well ungreatfull and horrible. I have been thinking about the way me and fi sister are together now but honestly I dont think it was just the wedding she has chanaged into a person that i wouldnt want to have anything to do with any more. She will not becoming to our wedding or party not matter what , so i guess i will have face the family on that but I have asked fi to talk to her to see if we can meet to talk things though because i really miss my neice and its not nice for my fi or our son when i have to leave the room at family parties if she comes in just to stop i fight starting (from her not me).