- 2 weeks ago
KittyYogi : Your hubby’s ex sounds a lot like his ex (sexual rejection, mood turning on a dime, the affairs, not caring to fix the marriage), minus the many adventures traveling. She did travel, but mostly for work. His family invited her to go travel abroad with them all as a family on their annual vacation, and she refused, so he went alone. After initial intro to family, she never really wanted to interact with them if she could help it.
He said I am the first gf to travel with his family on a vacation (and I’m very excited about it!). And I have a running list of places I want to travel to with him. Also, I have a large extended family in another country, so that’s another big trip we will have eventually. His mom I think is over the moon that I’m more family oriented. She has my number and sometimes calls me to ask about a future trip to visit them, or to ask for any recommendations or suggestions for this upcoming trip abroad (since she knows I’m well traveled). I am completely at ease with his family.
Bees who have responded, this has been quite helpful. It’s also been a nice reminder of the great things I have in my relationship. I feel for a bit I did play victim, which as a human I know I’m allowed to do every once in a while, but at some point you just have to stand up, dust yourself off, and just GO and DO something. I know in my heart I don’t have concrete reasons to be jealous or threatened or upset about someone I’ve never met. A bee on here mentioned humanizing her a bit, rather than considering her the devil.
Well, though I can’t really agree she is a person like me doing the best she can with some of the incredibly destructive and narcisstic things she did and said, what I did do is remind myself and my bf that even though she might consider herself “happy,” (not that either of us would know, obviously, it’s mostly when as someone when you feel wronged by an ex, you don’t like thinking they are happier than you; I’ve certainly been there) at the end of the day she isn’t equipped to handle what it means to truly love and trust someone. That her manipulative and controlling ways were manifestations of deep insecurities. That’s cause to feel sorry for her.