(Closed) Confession: My Wedding Day Was Not the Happiest Day of My Life

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Chicagowife, I’m right there with you. I think that if it weren’t for my mom, I would have had a much better day. Don’t get me wrong, my day was gorgeous! The weather was beautiful, everything went off without a hitch, but my mom stressed me out so much ALL DAY over the littlest things that I just couldn’t enjoy myself.

It was so bad that my brothers and my SIL ran up and distracted my mom every time they saw her talking to me b/c she was stressing me out that much! I wasn’t hugging people fast enough or moving through the tables fast enough. They couldn’t serve dinner fast enough b/c there were 3 toasts. The food wasn’t exactly as she thought it was going to be. My photographer offended her by saying the bridesmaids were going to help me dress…SHE wanted to dress me. I didn’t bring my grandfather’s handkerchiefs to the ceremony (b/c apparently that was supposed to be the bride’s job…you know, with all the pockets we brides have in our dresses). My brother and SIL left without helping to clean up and that p*ssed her off. It was honestly non-stop until she got into the car to go home. It was by far THE most stressful day of my life, and I’m glad it’s over.

The fact that I married my husband was definitely the best day of my life, but the honeymoon was by far MUCH better than the wedding! Thanks so much for this post! I’m so glad that someone else feels the way I do!

Post # 18
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

My wedding wasn’t the happiest- nor would I want it to be!  That implies it’s downhill from there!

I too stressed a lot, and it was kind of overwhelming emotionally.  I would say that the day we were engaged was probably happier (certainly more stress free) and since then we’ve had lots of very happy days (honeymoon, holidays, etc).

Post # 19
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

rosychicklet – I totally agree with you! Now that I’m thinking about it, the day I got engaged was probably one of my happiest days only b/c I wasn’t thinking about what was ahead just yet. I was enjoying telling everyone and getting their reactions. That was by far the most fun! And of course, we loved our honeymoon

Post # 20
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

oohhh girl i can totally relate! you are not alone.

 my wedding was certainly not the best day of my life. in fact, my wedding day was not fun at all- it was extremely stressful and tiring. my parents yelled at me much of the day, and random relatives pestered me about random things during the reception.

it was so stressful and anger-brewing that i told my husband i dont’ want to celebrate our anniversary. sad huh?

oh well, at least the pictures are nice and thank God its over with!

Post # 21
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yes, thank you for being honest. My wedding is in 3 weeks and about a month and a half agao we dedcided we wanted to elope also, I am the wedding planner too, have pulled it off in 5 months. But my bridesmaids had already bought thier dresses the shower invites were out and it was too late.  I am expecting the anxiety on the day of but I am tryig to alleviate that by giving everyone a job and puting my best gals in charge. We will see.

Post # 22
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

!  I am hoping that it’s a blast, and that’s why we are paring down on a lot of details – I just want to focus on having a great day.  I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding recently where I suspect the bride felt the same way.  I only caught her smiling for posed pictures.  It made me sad to see that, because despite how nice everything was, it didn’t seem like she noticed, because some other detail may have been off.  It rubbed off on me, for sure – I was so stressed from before the ceremony that I could hardly eat or drink.  I wish I got over the stress hurdle with booze earlier in the day like some of the other Bridal Party members. haha!

Post # 23
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

I don’t ever want to meet the happiest day of my life. I am always hoping there’s going to be a better one on the horizon.

Post # 25
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Chicagowife – no, i totally get you.  I guess each person is different, and based on some of your posts here, I don’t think you would have shown this to the wedding party/guests.  It sounds like you came to that conclusion after some reflection.  I love my friend, but she had the look that strikes fear into people while doing her hair, on the phone, at the cake table, etc.  But if you had a camera, she was smiling.  But since I was closer to all the action, I may have been more sensitive to her reactions, versus a guest just seeing her at the reception.

i think also that participating on sites like this ups the ante and the expectation level for the wedding day, whether conscious or not.  I am hoping to avoid this, but only time will tell! I do appreciate reading ppls different points of view and reactions. 

My SIL says her wedding day was the most fun day of her life (not necessarily the happiest) but I do know how stressed her mom was, because her mom took care of all of the details.  That has a lot to do with it!

 

Post # 26
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wow I wish that my SIL was reading this!  She has complained since her wedding day about everything about her wedding. Nothing was done right she wants to sue this vendor or that person. It has gotten to a point that I don’t even want to talk to her any more. It has been 4 months!  Get over it.  I think the problem is that she had it in her had that it should be perfect and her expectations were just a tad too high.  I think we should all have high exepctations but if they don’t happen… oh well.   I agree with everyone else, it is just another day and another party.  So enjoy it and then it will fall into the best days category!

Post # 27
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My parents told us when we got engaged not to expect our wedding day to be one of the most stressful days of our lives. Don’t get me wrong, they were happy on their wedding day, but my mom told me of the fight she got into with my uncle and how hyper-sensitive she was on the day, and my dad, being the shy person he is, told me how nervous he was. 

So, I’m fully expecting the stress on our wedding day. I know it will be one of the happiest days of my life, but frankly? I’m looking forward to that 8am flight on Monday to Vegas for our honeymoon!

Post # 28
Member
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Great thread!

I hope my wedding ranks up there, and it will since it will be the day that I become Stephan’s wife but I know that days like when my children are born, will rank higher.

Post # 29
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Thanks you all for talking about this openly. My FH and I just had an argument this morning over the shade of green we were going to use… It was pathetic! This post serves at a reminder of what is truly important!!

Post # 30
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I am so glad I am not the only one feeling this way!! I found the whole day and the weeks running up to the wedding to be very stressful, and would never wish my experience on any of my friends or enemies! I found the attention on me on the big day overwhelming, and although I am by no means a shy person, I found the whole experience a little bit embarrassing and drawn-out. With the benefit of hindsight, my husband and I agreed that if we had known what we know now, we would have eloped without any hesitation!

It will always remain a very special day to us, and I will always treasure our wedding ceremony and vows to each other, but when that part had finished, I realised in hindsight that nothing else should have mattered, and I would happily have been whisked away there and then. Rather than trying to please everbody else and make it a great event for your friends and family (an impossible task) it is important to remember that the only thing that really matters is your love for each other and the important commitment you are making on that day.

I feel so happy and honoured to be a wife to my gorgeous and loving husband and look forward to living the rest of our lives together, but realise how little a lot of the day really mattered. It is the one day when you should honestly just be thinking about yourself and your husband, and it is so easy for that not to be the case.

Post # 31
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I’m glad you posted this because my wedding day was terrible for me. I also did all of the planning and coordinating because we really couldn’t afford to hire anyone. A family friend acted as the day of coordinator, but she really let us down. After it was over I realized that the problem was that I was the only one who knew all of the details of the day, and nobody else could keep up with the details. Even with a coordinator, I think I would have had stress over wether or not she carried out the details. 

Bottom line…I was so relieved we we left our reception! It was like the biggest weight in the world had been lifted away. I really don’t even like to think about our wedding. Am I happy I married my husband…yes! Would I have a wedding again…only in Hawaii with just the two of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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