(Closed) Confession Time! Were YOU ever a terrible guest?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

So, yes I was a “bad” guest but no one would have noticed had another Bridesmaid or Best Man not said something.

I got married, had children (4 of them) very young.  Before I was 30 I was divorced and ex was not good about helping with anything at all. Money was always tight for me.  My sister was getting married and it was her bridal shower. My grandmother is wonderful and did not want me to feel bad about not being able to afford a gift so she brought one from me so I would not be embarrassed that I did not bring anything. The problem was she did not tell me she did that.  So as I am handing my sister her presents to open in front  of everyone I looked and said “Oh it’s from me” obviously surprise in my voice.  The other Bridesmaid or Best Man started laughing because she caught on. My sister actually whispered to her the situation.  Then this Bridesmaid or Best Man went on to say to everyone “yes, lets see what cookiebird got for her sister.  I am so sure it is something great”  I was mortified. I sucked it up but that was 10 years ago and still do not like that girl!  

 

Post # 77
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Not too long ago I went to a coworkers vow renewal. We honestly don’t really like each other, I think I dislike her more than she does me. The only reason I went was because I knew that I was never going to hear the end of her asking me why I couldn’t make it, which would be only to make me look bad in front of our other coworkers. Anyways, I forgot to take her gift and I honestly did not go out of my way to get her something on my way to the reception. I still feel really guilty every time I see her and I know that she’s thinking about it.

Post # 79
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee

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fscarlett:  Haha the worst part is I was trying to be a good guest!

Post # 80
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Oh my gosh, you all are making me feel so much better about the thing I have been MORTIFIED about for literally years.

I was invited to my friend’s wedding. It was a Friday night about 2 hours away on top of a mountain, so I got off work early to attend. I have always been really bad about getting cash beforehand for any type of event, so I thought I would swing by the ATM on the way up – it was right down the street from work. Great plan, right?

So something huge blows up at work, and I end up leaving later than I planned. I still stop at the ATM as planned, but something is wrong with it. Not marked as out of order, just plain doesn’t work. So I tell myself okay, I’ll start heading to the venue, and I’ll stop by a bank on my way up there. There has to be a bank on the way. It’s a 2 hour drive!

No bank, no bank, probably because I’m driving through the middle of nowhere… And then all of the sudden the road that I am on had this crazy construction, and there is a detour through these random back roads. My GPS kept routing me the same way that was CLOSED, so I just had to drive hugely out of the way for it to properly reroute me, and my phone had no reception (I was still on a not smartphone) so I couldn’t even call anyone to get better directions.

So by the time I got there the ceremony was just about to begin. I had no cash, so I left the card in the car, thinking I would get cash and mail it out afterwards.

Of course I forgot, and then had no money to put in the card when I remembered (I had just started living on my own and was totally broke, but not an excuse, I know), and then just felt too ashamed and embarrassed to send them something months later. So… I was the non gifter.

I still feel HORRIBLE to this day and have never told that this to anyone. 🙁 It feels so good to get that off my chest though.

Post # 81
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

When I was younger I can remember giving smaller amounts in the card to the couple. I wish I had it to do over, I would have given more. 

Other than that, one time I missed a wedding altogether bc I actually got the date wrong. I did call and apologize to the bride and she said that she forgave me, but I never heard from her again. If I had had her address I would have sent a generous monetary gift. I still really regret that.

Post # 82
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

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SkateH:  I straight-up crashed a wedding with like 5 other people!

I was on a mission team in my early 20s and a year or so after it was over, our supervisor got married. I don’t know how we all knew when it was, but we did and even though we weren’t invited all FLEW OUT for it. We went to the church for the ceremony then went out to dinner together while the dinner was going on at the reception. Then we showed up later for the dance. I don’t think we even brought cards. I am HORRIFIED by this now, but at the time totally didn’t see anything at all wrong with it. 

The buffet was still out when we showed up to the reception and I remember both the bride and groom seperately coming up and encouraging us to eat. I think they felt bad! 

But we did stay late and help clean the hall after they left…. so I guess that makes up for it a little?

Post # 83
Member
3164 posts
Sugar bee

Yup twice!!!

Once my mates and I actually MISSED the ceremony because we were in an unfamiliar city and the taxi driver took us to a suburb which started with the same letter as where we were meant to be ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN! He knew he was taking us to a wedding and drove us to an industrial area. Actually pulled up and was like “here it is”. Uhhhh, no! Unfortunately it was one of those ceremonies where the bride was on time and it was 15 mins long 🙁

Another time I clearly for a C list invite over the phone 2 weeks out from a wedding. Said I would go. Never actually received the invite as promised. Didn’t go as it was a 4 hour trip and I had to fly out for work. Apologised but after receiving an angry text from the groom on the day (my friend) got defriended on FB and never spoke again. In hindsight I wish I just had’ve said “no” to the last min invite which was pretty rude IMO.

 

Post # 84
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I guess this kind of counts, but I was only 11 so…if that makes it better haha. I was a Jr. Bridesmaid in my uncles wedding. My grandma paid a lot of money to take me to the hair salon the morning of and get my hair done in a fancy updo (even with flowers in my hair). I remember I hated it, and instead of sucking it up for a few hours, I cried the whole way back to my grandma’s house insisting I looked ugly with my hair the tight and pulled back. They couldn’t get me to calm down so I ended up washing my hair and taking my hairdo down. I wore it like I normally did – Plain, straight, and brushed. Luckily it was a very small wedding and my hair did end up looking nice for pictures, but I feel bad now that I threw such a scene in front of my family at that age and wasted my grandmas money. 

Post # 85
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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kitty_cupcake:  omg this is so me! My cousin invited my boyfriend and I to his wedding and I have $50 in a card thinking that was a pretty decent gift! Looking back now I feel embarrassed because they let me bring a plus one and I still only gave $50! In my defense I was 20 at the time… Anyways they never sent me a thank you card because of it, Don’t know if it’s because they were insulted by the amount or what…then again my sister came solo and gave $100 and received no thank you card either! 

Post # 86
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee

I confess…

High School – A friend of mine got married the day after we graduated (1990). I just wore my graduation dress…it was white eyelet. Oops – I didn’t know not to wear white. No one said anything either.

Before DH – I had met a guy through a dating service (early 90s). After a month or so of dating him, he invited me to a “friend’s wedding”. I had to meet him there. Fine…no problem…it was in my hometown and I knew where it was. I was sitting on the groom’s side waiting for him to show up….he sure did….AS THE GROOM! So I walked up to the bride, after the ceremony outside the chapel, and she asked who I was in a not so nice tone….I told her something like “I’m the girl your man has been f’ing up until Thursday night”. Yea it was a bitchy thing to do. But at that time I could care less. I was tired of being hurt and used by inconsiderate men (my ex before this guy was abusive and controlling).

Friends Wedding – DH was in the wedding so he was there the night before. Me and another male friend drove the next day. I got off work late, ran home changed, and picked up the friend. Then we drove an hour to the wedding site. The bride and groom forgot to tell us about construction so we had to detour and got lost (no smartphones or gps in car). We made it to the church just as the bride was getting ready to walk down the aisle! She laughed when she saw us running across the parking lot. As we walked up she said “Nice of you guys to show up” – completely joking. We were sooo embarrassed!!

Post # 87
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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ali0118:  omg!!! Why would he invite you to his own wedding!?!?! How awful!

Post # 88
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

The worst thing I did was also very recent when I should have known better.  DH and I received an invitation to his old roommate’s wedding.  It was a pretty casual invitation and I didn’t see any RSVP info.  We have other friends from his culture and I have been told their weddings are huge and RSVPs are considered rude.  Well come the weekend of the wedding I realize we’re missing some pertinent logistical info.  I dug out the invite and it turned out there was a whole back side to it that we hadn’t seen.  We were supposed to RSVP a month before and despite the verbal invite for our daughter it said no children allowed at the venue.  I didn’t have the guts to call the day before the wedding and try to sort things out with the groom so we just didn’t go.  I feel terrible.

My in-laws were terrible guests once.  DH’s whole family and I were invited to a wedding.  On the day of his parents decided to go on a bike ride instead of going to the wedding.  WTH?  So his siblings stayed home too.  DH & I went because I refused to be that guest.  It was so awkward because everyone asked us where the rest of the family was.  

Post # 89
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was the guest that had to be chased down forger RSVP. It was my first adult wedding and I didn’t get “be there!” On her FB didn’t cut it. Then I forgot about a gift until a few days before and the registry was sold out except for like, a spatula. I picked up some cheap and ugly candle thingy on the way that was off registry. Got a gracious thank you note forit though.

Post # 90
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

At every wedding I’ve been too, unfortunately…

When I was a kid my grandparents dropped my cousin off to stay the weekend, I guess it was a surprise because we ended up bringing her as an uninvited guest. I remember my mom freaking out about it but as I remember it was no big deal to anyone else.

At my little sisters wedding I wore a white dress and jeans…. Yeah. To make it worse her dress was purple. Then I whined because my sister had promised to let me be a witness and her Mother-In-Law took my spot. I was 19 at the time.

At my dads wedding my sister and I were bridesmaids. we both forgot to shave our legs and couldn’t find a razor, so you can see our leg hair in the pictures. My parents got divorced because my dad cheated so my sister and I both cried the entire ceremony for all the wrong reasons bridesmaids should be crying. when the pro photos came back I am very noticeably glaring pretty harshly towards the altar and I’m still not sure if I was glaring at the officiant (who was horrible) or my new stepmom who had spent the weekend taking all the little problems that kept happening out on my dad.

My boyfriend and I went to a friends vow renewal last Saturday. We were running late and missed the ceremony.  We were also late to the reception. We didn’t know anyone but the bride so I’m sure it looked like we were crashing the wedding. We just dropped our card off and were going to leave because we felt awkward, but then the speeches started. BF said we would look less awkward if we stood by the food while we watched. So while I watched the speeches he turned around and raided the candy buffet. After the cake was cut we snuck back to the car while he clutched his prized paper bag full of candy. We must have been there less than 15 minutes.

 

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