(Closed) Confession-What don't you like about your in laws?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I generally love both my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law, but they are huge snobs. They are both obsessed with status to a degree that is just revolting to me. They also both LOVE to brag about their careers and how important their work is, which is fine every once in awhile, but happens way too frequently with them. Future Father-In-Law makes inappropriate comments about sex a lot, which also makes me really uncomfortable. He’s also an extremely selfish person and treats his wife in ways that are totally unacceptable. 

i just saw them this weekend and Fiance was really embarrassed about how they acted at certain points during dinner with my parents.

But overall, they are good people who are really generous. They also don’t meddle at all in their children’s lives, which is something I really do appreciate, as my mom can be a bit overbearing.

Post # 34
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Missknicole:  Oh! My FI’s grandmother is Japanese and she’s forever saying things like “You don’t cook for him? You don’t take care of him?” when I totally do, but apparently not up to her standards. Annoys me to no end.

Post # 35
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

There is so much I can say that has occured in a decade.  With my SO’s parents.

Four or five years into dating my SO,   I was out with his parents at their friends dinner party.   I was introduced as “SmileyKitty,  our son’s… friend.” 

During the same year there was a family ski trip,  I was asked if I wanted to go.  Of course I said yes.   Two weeks later SO asked again in a meek tone if I really wanted to go and I said yes and was looking forward to meeting the rest of the family.   He informed me that his parents decided not to take me and instead of me going they invited one of their friends in my place.

His parents run a farm on the coast.   If I wanted to visit SO (this went on for many years)  I was expected to do farm work.  I helped do hard labour in various weather just to spend time with my SO.  I didn’t get paid squat.    I got praise and a meal.    

One time SO’s mother bought us tickets to see a professional musical.   We told her what time we had to be there.   This includes travel time.  Ten mintues before we had to leave  SO’s mother decided to announce she had dinner on for us.   Knowing full well we were going to be late.    Of course we got to the play 10 minutes after it started and had to wait 15 minutes in the lobby before being ushered in.

The ultimate thing that really got to me.   When SO was put into a mental health facility last year.   His mother told her friend that I was the root cause of him being mentally ill.   Apparently he wasn’t like this before he met me.      She didn’t expect this friend to go to water aerobics and unwittedly in the guise of gossip had informed my mother and her friends.   The woman believe SO’s mother until she was corrected. 

My SO was clearly mentally ill before I met him.   The night I met him he was rambling his psychosis thoughts to me. 

What I don’t like about them:

His mother is a round the clock drunk,   when she met my parents she was so intoxicated she reeked of alcohol.    She drinks from lunch time till bedtime mostly wine.    Also she plays clear favourites among her children and this is including grand-children.

Apparently his dad refered to me in a racist term while talking to others.  Though I have never heard him use such langauge.   SO’s dad is actually pretty nice over all.

Post # 36
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

I like my ‘in-laws’ – SO’s parents are divorced; his Father is remarried to a woman with a 7 year old son and his Mother is dating a man who has two children in their late twenties/early thirties.

SO’s Mum is lovely though we’re not as close/friendly as I would like – I have a very close relationship with my Mum and always imagined/wished I would have a similar relationship with my Mother-In-Law. What I dislike about her, is that she is pretty slack when it comes to communication; SO and I lived together overseas for 14 months and she contacted him twice. Any communication they had started with him and she rarely returned his emails/calls. They have a good relationship, so it’s just her being ‘too busy’ which annoys me because I know it hurts my SO.

SO’s Dad is nice, funny and has always made me feel at home in his home. I know him better than Future Mother-In-Law as I’ve spent more time with him and his new wife – who is also lovely, if a bit materialistic and overly concerned with her and their appearance (physically and status wise). I dislike that his Dad never supported my SO when he was younger; he always wanted him to do better and be better (which can be good) but not when you’re not supporting your child and you’re making them feel like a failure. Future Father-In-Law is very intelligent, he started his own (very successful) company and has since added more companies to his ‘brand’ – he always wanted SO to be academic like him but SO has dyslexia, struggled in school and is better at anything hands on or physical (sports etc.)

I’m pretty lucky that they are both nice people who aren’t over bearing, snotty or mean so I don’t really have anything to complain about – hopefully when we get engaged, married and have children that won’t change.

Post # 37
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

My Mother-In-Law is great. She lives far away from us but she makes a good effort to call and keep in touch/get to know me better through Facebook, cards, etc. She is good to go to for advice and never meddles in our relationship or choices we make.

Truthfully, I cannot stand my Father-In-Law. Him and DH’s mom were never married. Father-In-Law was never around for my Darling Husband growing up. They got back into contact when Darling Husband was in college, but is terribly bad about calling/writing, etc. and has even forgot to call my Darling Husband for his birthday before. He makes no effort to get to know me at all either which really bothers me. I feel like the only way he knows how to show affection is through money. DH’s stepmom is perfectly nice and friendly but again, we hardly ever see them.

Post # 38
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My MiL ALWAYS plays the victim. It gets so irritating!!! She also is one of those people who is super pushy…like, “do it my way. do it my way. do it my way. do it my way” until you just give up and smile and nod just to get her to shut the hell up. She painted our LO’s room because I was pregnant and didn’t want to be surrounded by the fumes, plus it was a good way to get her involved…well, so I thought. They were doing a design around the top of the room and I specifically said, “I don’t really like the circle inside the circle” she said Oh, I like it  and did it THREE MORE TIMES!!!! Ugh. 

Post # 39
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Daizy914:  I must admit it has taken a while for me to understand my in-laws ways of doing things. I grew up in a home where things were and are done very differently. But lately everyone has been trying so hard with me and me with them that we are getting along wonderfully. There are choices they make that I wouldn’t but again I was brought up in a different way and I can see that it truly affects everything. 🙂 So I guess I’m lucky, we have had our moments in the past, but as we’ve gotten to know each other properly (dh and I lived 12 hours away before we got married), I’ve come to understand them better.

Post # 40
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

@Daizy914:  my Future Father-In-Law is in the police and is crazily protective so much so that he once came with me and my Fiance to a situation that he thought would be unsafe when it literally wasn’t at all! I practically shouted at him ‘we’ve lived on our own for 7 years I think we can do such and such’  but this kind of situation happens a lot and it gets tiresome. Im already dreading how he’s gonna act when we have kids because my Fiance has told me how restrictsed his childhood was and I can already see the arguments about ‘who knows best’.

Post # 41
Member
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Daizy914:  I like that they’ve somehow created the funniest, sexiest and most thoughtful person I know. Lol it’s all I got since we don’t see eye to eye about anything. 

Post # 42
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I love them for everything except: they are really religious they think we should wait 10 years to get married like them, don’t like us taking vacations because it will spoil the honeymoon and they hate that we live together. They got over it but we both know they won’t be completely happen until we are married. 

Post # 43
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I dislike my Future Brother-In-Law and his wife…all they do is mooch off us every chance they get.

Post # 44
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

i love my in laws to bits – i look at them as my surrogate mum & dad as my parents live in Portugal so arent around for me to ‘pop in’ on. however, there is a few things about Mother-In-Law that get on my nerves –

she is SUPER competitive… with everything!!

my SIL started running, so did Mother-In-Law – then Mother-In-Law made sure she could run faster, further, more often than SIL. pathetic.

me and Hubby lost wieght for the wedding, so did Mother-In-Law (even though she doesnt need to) – she felt she had to be thinner than she was when my SIL got married, so her 7lb was much more impressive than the collective 6.5 stone that me and Darling Husband lost as she had to work harder as she didnt have that much to loose. 

oooo – and she is ALWAYS commenting on DHs weight. ALWAYS. really f**ks me off. its never done in a ‘your fat’ kinda way but more in a sly way: last night they popped over for a cuppa and her and Darling Husband were talking about sleeping tablets that they are both taking, Mother-In-Law says she takes a 1/2 tab each night – Darling Husband says Gee, i take 2!! (which is what the pack tells you to take) Mother-In-Law says; well, look at the size of you! 

 

well that turned into a mini rant! LOL!!

Post # 45
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We are very different people. That is the essence of why they aren’t my favorite people in the world.

 

Post # 47
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

They are wonderful people….

 

but Future Mother-In-Law plays terrible guilt trips on SO, and plays favorites with his younger brother.  It is heartbreaking sometimes. 

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