Post # 1
We are five months out from our wedding. I love my fiance with all my heart. But I admit I am being fast and loose about our wedding.
1)We are doing adult only for the ceremony and reception. We are videotaping and most weddings I’ve been to the parents like the children distract during both. However, we are already over budget and just can not afford a wedding babysitter. The cheapest we’ve found is $600. Since my FI’s family only gets to see him once a year due to his military career, I was going to let his side bring their children. Granted they all live over 1,000 miles away. My family lives 10 minutes from the reception hall. I feel if we “pretend” the babysitter fell through as the reason his side has their children there it will go over better. The babysitter was specifically for Out of Town guests.
2) Today, I ran into a dear friend of mine. He is an ex yes but we broke up over 7 years ago and he is currently engaged to a beautiful girl. We went for bf/gf to an almost sibling relationship. Today he informed me his fiancee was excited to attend the wedding. I had forgotten to include her to our already huge guest list. However I do not mind adding her. I love them. Thing is, now I feel bad because I’ve cousins who are not invited who are hinting they want to come. I’ve not seen these cousins in 10 years and frankly I do not want to pay for them to eat for them to fade back into obscurity. Am I mean?
3)I have already let people know if they do not RSVP I do not care who the f*ck they are they are not coming in. I am not afriad of them being upset. It’s our money. Period.
4)I’ve completely shut my mom and female relatives out of wedding planning. It is my Fiance and me. I love them BUT if I give them an inch, they would take 10 miles. My wedding would be hyjacked. They are upset but I do not give a shit. Sorry. I did not enjoy my debutante ball due to family and I refuse to have them screw our wedding up.
Ok I’m done 🙂
Post # 3
I hope you feel better for that.
Post # 4
i don’t really think there is anything for anyone to say to you because you obviously have your mind made up on how you feel about everything.
i wish you the best of luck in the rest of your planning and hope your day turns out lovely.
Post # 5
@LuvMySailor: um, wow. good luck with doing everything on your own.
Post # 6
Wow. As far as #4, I don’t want to give my mom full control, but I will give her some freedom about things I don’t care all that much about. Is that a possibility? I know my mom would be extremely hurt if I just cut her out of planning. It’s a special day for her too.
Post # 7
I tried. But I would end up in tears. I was told my ideas were “trashy”, “ghetto”, and “ugly” all because I did not go with “tradition”. We are doing a sand ceremony instead of the unity candle, hiring a harpist instead of using the church organist, and since my father is deceased I was going to walk alone. Other than that my ideas were pretty mainstream
Post # 8
I have help from friends who are wedding planners. As far as planning, I’m not stressed….yet. I have a high stress job that entails paperwork, deadlines, interns et al. To me, it’s like when I go to work,except it for a beautiful occasion. I’m not bothered and I have an amazing bridal party who is willing and capable
Post # 9
@MissDareDevil: Thank you. But really I wrote this for rebukes as well. I’m not trying to isolate people, I’m trying to protact myself from those who do not have my best interest at heart
Post # 10
1) I would personally rather pay an extra $600 and not have tons of drama about why all of the kids from his side are there but kids from your side aren’t.
2) Definitely add your friend’s girlfriend sicne you can’t invite just half a couple/ But don’t feel bad about the cousins! You just can’t invite everyone.
3) You need to CALL people who don’t RSVP, because if they show up you have the option of making a scene or having to set up extra spots at the last second.
4) I think it’s great that you and Fiance are making the decisions, but I hope you don’t have an ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude when you speak with them about it! If you do, I can see why they’d be hurt.
Post # 12
Huh… you do realize you will likely still have to associate with these people at some point after the wedding is over, right?
Post # 13
It really bothers me when brides not only accept being a “bridezilla”, but embrace it.
I’m a firm believer that the day is not all about you — rather it is a celebration of your marriage and the love of your family and friends. Neither of which, IMO, should be punctuated with pretentiousness or hostility.
Try not to lose sight of where you would be without the love and support of your “guests” throughout your lifetime.
Post # 14
Umm let’s see…
1) I have no advice because we had kids at our ceremony and reception. They were amazing and provided some good laughs.
2) The girl is fine, but don’t worry about the cousins. I just found out one of my cousins is mad because he wasn’t invited. I haven’t talked to him or his sister in over 8 years. His wife is rude and her (female cousin) new guy I don’t even know. I’m refuse to lose sleep over it.
3) I felt this way too, but this is where Darling Husband stepped up and took care of some things. He called his people and got answers, I didn’t and had 2 extra show up. I was actually happy they came because I love the cousin and him and his mom were the only ones on my mother’s side that came. Not even my grandma came and my other aunt planned a trip during that time and both lied to me about it.
4) I planned by myself. Not to be mean to anyone, but because I liked it. However, my mom and sisters were wonderful and helped set everything up while we had our pics taken. I wouldn’t count them out all the way.
Post # 15
I will not loose sight. I’m just standing my ground because people are already trying to walk all over Fiance and me about this wedding like DEMANDING cousins to be in the bridal party and asking to bring people.
I have a loving relationship and do not embrace being a bridezilla BUT I know what I want and even then I compromise with my Fiance because it is his day too.
Hopefully we can come up with the money for a babysitter for all the children.
Post # 16
600 For a babysitter? Really? That’s insane. You should adveritse locally. I was a babysitter in college a few times i got $6 an hour! Unless you’re gonna need them for 100 hours…