(Closed) Confessions of a Compulsive Eater

posted 8 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Aww, sorry you gained some back, although I think you look great!! And congrats for losing 30 lbs. earlier! There are a bunch of us on here that do Weight Watchers. Everybody is very supportive. Are you going to join Weight Watchers again? I’m doing the online thing and just started about 7 weeks ago. Oh, and I love sugar too!!! 🙁

Post # 4
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Programs like dailyburn and dailymile keep me motivated. When I see that other people are eating the right things and working out, it makes me feel like I need to also.

Maybe we could set up our own group on there to keep eachother in check?

PS: great job on the weight loss!

Post # 5
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I love food!  Absolutely love it!  You can tell if you see me, cause I look like I love food.  I just recently did the HCG drops (before I get slammed by others- I am not saying they are for everyone, they just worked for me.) and lost 16 pounds in 28 days.  I am going back on them this coming weekend.  It has been the only diet that I have lost with and not been hungry on.  Something to look into for a quick fix (it’s not a lifestyle which is relistically what you (and I) need to do) but it wil help to take some pounds off before the dress fitting.  The 16 pounds was enough of a push to make me realize I needed to keep eating healthy in order to be able to fit into my dress for the wedding.  1 month later- I am down 2 pounds from when I stopped the drops.

Good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tinylittlebird: I do.

Although for me, it’s not sugar. It’s salt/fried stuff.

This is me at my heaviest (~170):

Lightest (~148)

And now (~160):

I lost 24lbs on WW. Then gained it all back. I’ve now  lost 13lbs again and want to get back to that 148 or so weight I was before (if not lower).

I am a “closet eater” in a way. I will sneak stuff from the kitchen when no one is home. Or order really bad delivery food when Fiance is on a business trip.

I’ve recommitted to WW and am not letting myself slide again. If I can’t lose the weight and be healthy for the wedding, when WILL I be able to do it?

I’ve yo-yo’d so many times, I’m ready to be healthy and consistent.

Post # 7
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

@tinylittlebird: *Raises hand shyly* I have an addiction to food (took me too long to type that one sentence….). I binge, gorge, and hide from shame. Hiding meaning I’ll want to eat more after a nice amount of food so I will sneakily grab it and hide in another room so I’m not caught eating more. I’m 5’4 and at my heaviest (before 12-25-10) I was bouncing between 195-197. I stopped taking Lexapro and am down to 182-184. I continuously cycle between dieting with/without working out and doing nothing at all. I have yet to be successful. I even took this semester off of school to focus on loosing the weight after a major kick in the ass (I have moderately high cholesterol, blood pressure bounces, and when I tried to get individual healthcare I was declined because of my size), but here I sit 3 months in with only pill-weight lost. Sometimes I’m so ashamed of myself I want to die (not literally). I honestly disgust myself.

I have tried almost everything, including WW, but it’s me that’s the problem. I’ve been working on anxiety with my therapist mostly and sometimes weight and how I view myself. I get angry with myself because I feel like “how many more signs do you honestly need to get it together!?”

I think I’m afraid to be something I’ve never been: healthy.

(Took me ages to hit “submit” too haha)

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SunriseMidwest: It took me a while to hit submit too. It’s hard to admit and it’s hard to deal with. I can completely relate to the hiding my eating in another room, etc.

I’ve had success but then I always revert back to old ways. I get to a “healthy point” and then stop trying/paying attention and before I know it I’m topping 170 again.

I also get very down on myself. Most people around me are slim/in decent shape and I will beat myself up wondering why can’t I just be healthy and consistent.

I also have let one slip up completely derail me, or I get so discouraged I give up.

I think there is very good support here, as well as what you have with your therapist.

Post # 10
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tinylittlebird: I am SO bad about the “if nobody knows it didn’t happen” thing. I will even lie to my Fiance about what I ate (not that he cares) or I’ll volunteer up that I ate something healthy (like that negates the nachos I did eat).

I think actually talking about it and realizing it is a problem will help me get past it.

Post # 13
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tinylittlebird: Oh I so do that. Or at lunch I decide I can have french fries because I’m planning on going to the gym (and then I go out for martinis instead).

A year ago I was diagnosed with severe acid reflux and have changed my eating habits a fair bit since then. The scare of my bad eating habits giving me cancer has helped me shape up a bit, but I’m still not 100% there and I still have the “if no one saw me eat it, I didn’t eat it” moments.

I’m glad you had the courage to come out and say something.

And P.S. your dress is beautiful.

Post # 14
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Kind of funny I was in the same pose for both. lol

Post # 15
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs.tobe: I just hate fluctuating so much. I know it’s bad for my body, and I know the weight will get harder and harder to lose as I get older.

I love the taste of food too and I hear you on the cravings. When I get one, it just gets worse and worse until I satisfy it. I am trying very hard to find other things that will satisfy my terrible cravings, but it’s hard.

I need to find some way to change my relationship with food, because right now it is very unhealthy.

Post # 16
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

WOW. Just had this convo with a friend last night and I totally relate. I yo-yo between weights all the time and right now I am the heaviest I’ve ever been. 2.5 years ago I lost about 40 lbs and I now weigh 50lbs more then I did then.

I’m a little on the taller side and so when I gain like 10-15 lbs my clothes still fit. I can wear the same sized jeans and so I don’t notice as much until it’s a much larger problem then just 10lbs. Right now I’m feeling really bad about where I’m at and I wish I could just rewind time and stop myself from gaining that weight back but I can’t. I just keep hoping that come wedding day I can have just one picture that I don’t think I look extremely fat in.

I start out everyday thinking that today is the day where I’m going to change. Somedays I do really well and others I break that promise to myself to do well by lunch. I really think about seeking help sometimes from a doctor or therapist, it’s all so mindless when I’m eating and then I feel the guilt after. When the Fiance is gone I eat the most, secret eating. It’s horrible.

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