(Closed) Confessions of a First Time Mommy & things they never tell you.

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013


Post # 4
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@okqueenbee:  Hang in there.  It really, really does get better.


I hated nursing too.  It hurt.  A lot.  I pumped instead, and it was so much more manageable for me.  I was able to provide breast milk much longer by EPing than I would have been able to by nursing.

I also hated the brand new newborn stage.  Once the smiles started coming, then the laughs and more interaction, it was much better.  Now that we have crawling, standing, cruising around the furniture, clear likes and dislikes, and those belly laughs, it is SO MUCH BETTER.

Oh, and have you tried babywearing?  It was the only way I could run the vacuum, make a sandwich, and go get the mail in those early weeks.  I used a Moby wrap, but a pouch or ring sling will do the trick as well.  Anyway, it definitely helped SO MUCH.  Also, Dear Daughter didn’t get as fussy in stores if I wore her since she felt like she was being held, all snuggled against mama.  She didn’t realize I was pushing a grocery cart and stuffing granola bars in my mouth.

Post # 5
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

No need to go anonymous for real stories. Those of us that are working on growing babies need and want to hear all sides, the good the bad and the ugly 🙂 That way we know if we ever have negative feelings (god forbid! lol) that we aren’t alone.

Thanks for sharing. 

Post # 6
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Thank you so much for sharing! As a new mommy expecting her first child in August I appreciate your honesty and thoughts. It is refreshing to hear real world stories versus super mommy blogs that seem to just have everything go perfectly.

I can relate with you on the only child thing and we haven’t even had ours yet. Darling Husband thinks I am crazy so this might be something I have to compromise on. I was an only child and LOVED it.


Post # 7
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@okqueenbee:  Yup, babies are hard. The newborn stage is really difficult at times. I feel you. I hated, hated, hated breastfeeding. I feel like it was 99% of why I had PPD. I actually went to the mall yesterday and walked past the “mother’s room” and actually had a full blown panic attack. It brings back that horrible of memories for me. For me, it just downright wasn’t worth it. I am having so much fun, though, now that Dear Daughter can sit up and play, laughs, “talks,” etc.




Post # 8
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My kids are 10 and 14 now. I assure you, it definitely does get better. With regard to #2, have you asked your husband to give you a day to yourself? A day where he has absolute kid duty while you have a spa day, all by yourself (or with a girlfriend if you need some adult conversation)? It may be just the thing you need to get some fresh perspective. 

And, IMO, “super mom” is in the eye of the beholder. Good luck!

Post # 9
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Yes, yes, and yes!!! 100% with you here. It’s definitely gotten better now that he’s laughing and will be crawling soon (6 months), I can’t wait until he’s 4 either. And no more kids! No way. I love him so much but 2 kids sounds like h-e-double hockey sticks. 

Post # 10
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

So a good honest post

I hated the baby stage, my husband and I wish they would pop out at 6 months!! They are so much more fun then, more work to but its worth it!!! 

I also don’t want a second kid, but I don’t trust myself not to spoil the first one without another, so two kids for us!! But I’m glad to hear of someone else who isn’t freaking out about the next one!!

Post # 11
3552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@okqueenbee:  I’m currently 24 and don’t plan on having a kid for many years to come, but I totally agree with you the 4 year olds are way more fun than newborns. Personally I don’t see the attraction in a creature that is 100% dependant on you and basically eats, sleeps, cries, and poops. Being able to interact with a child who knows what’s going on and watch them explore the world is so much more rewarding in my opinion. I’m also pretty sure that one kid will be enough for me as well. So just know that you are not alone, and that the baby stage isn’t absolutely everyone’s favorite.

Post # 12
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@okqueenbee:  I just want to say thank you for this. While some people may have their pitchforks out and want to behead you, I admire your honesty because you outlined a few of my own fears. I don’t think you should have to feel bad for it. You are still being a wonderful mom and doing what is best for your son.

I am glad more Bees are staying away from posting anonymously and being honest. It was tough for me to write my post a while ago about my feelings about Darling Husband and son when I was feeling depressed, but many people appreciate the honesty. Everyone DOES always tell me “Sleep when the baby sleeps” and that’s the only advice, so its refreshing to hear other’s stories and be prepared if I go through the same thing–and to know I’m not alone.

Thank you!

Post # 13
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Thanks for posting. I like hearing the real stories of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. So many people around me lately are trying to sugar coat it and dip in chocolate to get me to have a baby as soon as Fiance and I are married, like they cannot possibly understand why I wouldn’t want to. We’re still undecided on kids…Honestly, I am exhausted and feel like crap almost all the time now so I cannot imagine how much worse I would feel after having a baby. If or when the time comes I know it would take a lot of work and compromise to get through.

Post # 14
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I can’t imagine anyone judging you for finding it hard to parent a newborn! Anyone who has had kids knows that it’s hard! I’m with you on the disliking breastfeeding–I think I found it hard because mine took forever, and then Instill had to top up with formula when the finished, which meant I was literally feeding all day long. I actually enjoyed it once they got good at it, but they never wanted to breastfeed for very long, which was discouraging and felt like an uphill battle.

Other thoughts:

– Yep, babies are boring! Nothing bad about not liking the infant phase, and happily (or not so happily, depending on your perspective) it goes by quickly. It can be nice, though, to have babies that you can cart anywhere–as soon as the boring phase ends, so does the yummy mummy coffee date lifestyle. That’s a positive to this phase, so try to enjoy getting out now!

– It does get better. When your baby is about 5 months old and smiling and rolling and super cute, you may forget how awful labour was and decide you want another kid. You may find yourself having to say no to the urge and remind yourself of how hard it was before you jump in again. 

– Sex will also get better. My libido returned after I stopped breastfeeding, for which Darling Husband is thankful. 🙂

Post # 15
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@DaneLady:  +1 to this. Baby wearing has saved my life! I just strap the girls on with our carriers (one on front, one on back), and we can go out for several hours without them making a peep. Excellent for household chores or even for getting some semblance of hands-free ‘me time’. I kid you not, when I want a break I strap them on and sit down at the table with my coffee and ipad. They’re content as bugs in a rug–it’s a win-win as they get mommy time and I wouldn’t even know they were there.

Post # 16
638 posts
Busy bee

What pitchforks? Having an only child is boss and every only child I know is well adjusted and WAY more social because they had to adapt to be that way. 

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