Post # 17
@okqueenbee: It’s nice to read about moms stating how they really feel instead of trying to act perfect and competing with each other. It is so refreshing. And I’m not even a mom! I just spend a lot of time with people who are mothers lol. Props to you for dealing with all of that, it must be very difficult. You can do it!!!
Post # 18
I’m due to give birth next week, and I LOVE hearing real stories! Especially ones about how hard it can be.
If I have this baby and go “Wow, this SUCKS”, I don’t want to feel like the only person that’s ever felt that way because no one else has spoken up about their (totally natural) feelings!
Post # 19
HATED THE baby stage also with a passion…I mean, I wanted to gouge my eyes out
NO TIME FOR SELF…And I had two kids back to back. I will NEVER have anymore for no amount of money. I will die for my children but it was just.too.hard.
They are now 5 and 6 and I like this stage much better. They can play for longgg periods of time without having to have me as the center. I also enjoy them much more now.
Milk never came out when I tried to breastfeed. After two days, they went with formula. No guilt over here. They are happy and extremely healthy. But in hindsight, I dont think I would have enjoyed it either.
Post # 20
Thank you for posting and for your honesty!!!! As a mom to be, it’s so refreshing to read these honest posts.
Post # 21
@okqueenbee: Thank you for this post! I agree with everything – it’s HARD being a full-time mom to a newborn baby!
Post # 22
I’m glad to get so many positive responses to this post! I just feel like so many people (myself included) are misguided about exactly HOW HARD motherhood is. It’s been glamourized so much that when we actually become mommies, we can’t quite cope with the reality of it. Until I had my son, I could probably count on one hand the times I was actually around babies. It definitely wasn’t long enough to get a feel for everything that went into it. Sure, I babysat a couple times as a teenager, but there’s a huge difference between watching a baby for a few hours & watching one every single day. My hubby is a great help. He definitely does his part because he knows how stressed I get, but there are still some things that I do that he doesn’t. For instance, tummy time. It’s very very important & if I didn’t do it when we are at home, my son probably wouldn’t get it. Hubby doesn’t intentionally avoid it, he just doesn’t remember it. It’s one thing that I stressed to the daycare when I went back to work (UGH daycare – Do your research ladies! Check out their state inspection ratings & GET ON THE WAITING LIST MONTHS IN ADVANCE OR YOU WILL NOT GET INTO A GOOD ONE). Ok, back to topic, I would LOVE to write a book about all the misconceptions I had pre-parenthood. I’ll probably need to wait a few decades though because I’m just getting started & I’m sure there will be a lot more subject matter along the way.
I’ve thought of trying baby wearing, but those things all look either too complicated and/or too expensive, plus I’m not sure how DS would like it!
He will watch him no problem, but our only day off together is Sunday & I know this is stupid but I feel like I should be home with my family that day. It feels wrong somehow to take a whole day for myself! True story: I tried it a few weeks back & within 2 hours I was on my way back to be with them because I felt guilty.
I’m listening to you ladies with older kids who are saying it will get better. I think it will be AWESOME once he can just SIT UP by himself & play with his toys so I don’t have to constantly keep moving him around from the swing to the floor to my lap, etc. That is a workout! (But unfortunately not that good of one because I’ve still got 25 lbs to lose.)
Post # 23
This is EXACTLY what I think I’ll feel like (I’m not due until June). Thank you for writing it down b/c I was feeling guilty already! I’ve even told my Darling Husband that I think it’s only one kid for us… but we have logical reasons why 2 would be better (I won’t commit at this point).
Post # 24
@okqueenbee: THANK YOU! Just what I needed to read as I sit here in tears struggling with my 10 month old who still doesn’t sleep and I am still breastfeeding and feeling frumpy and just not sure I want another baby ever!! I wish I’d known what having a kid would entail, I mean really known all these details of the gross things and never having any time to myself. Ugh!
Post # 25
Babies are hard and anyone who tells you different is a damn liar. it really does get better, I promise.
Post # 26
@okqueenbee: All of what you said sounds pretty reasonable to me. Especailly the part about babies being really tough when you have no help.
Sorry your having a tough time with these aspects of young motherhood. It’ll be ok though, and I think a lot of people share your frustrations.
Post # 27
I agree about breastfeeding – it’s the hardest thing about having a baby IMO. It’s painful and it sucks.
Post # 28
I am not a mom, but when the day comes I could see myself feeling exactly as you do. Before your experience, did you plan to have more than one child? Or is your decision based off of how your delivery went?
I am nervous that I wont enjoy motherhood as much as Im ‘supposed’ to. Huge fear of mine.
Post # 29
@okqueenbee: Thank you so much for being honest and real. I’m thrilled to be a mom in July but if I hear one more person tell me how its all sunshine and roses and perfection the minute the baby comes into your world, I think Im going to scream. Yes being a mom is wonderful but its hard and it comes with a lot of shitty parts that people like to NOT talk about.
So no rage from me, just sympathy and admiration for being honest. I do have faith that it will get better and then you will have days that will make you miserable again, and thats just parenthood. Or really… thats LIFE!
Hang in there, girlfriend!
Post # 30
@okqueenbee: i applaud your honesty, i really do. when i had my son, i felt very similar to you (although i did not bf) but you just have to smile and pretend that you love it all. i can tell you, as a mother of a 29 year old, every year gets better and better.
Post # 31
I’m glad my words are what you needed to hear today! Lord knows I’ve sat in tears MANY times over the past 4 months, but when I look back to those very first days it HAS gotten easier (slowly but surely) & I know he will eventually be older & the breastfeeding will be over & things will be slightly more normal. Hang in there!
My hubby & I had pretty much decided it before TTC, but having a baby definately reinforced our decision lol. The delivery was traumatic & the last thing I expected to happen (C section), so yeah. I think we’re done!