(Closed) Confessions of a First Time Mommy & things they never tell you.

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 47
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@okqueenbee:  reading your post took me back 14 years in time. I felt a lot of the same things, and had literally NO ONE to share my confusing emotions with. Bravo to you, to be able to self identify so clearly, and to be brave enough to share with others! And no, I have no pitchfork in hand, but what they say IS true…the days are long but the years are short! Do find a nugget of precious in every single day while they are so tiny 🙂 

Post # 48
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Haha I kinda hated it too… Breastfeeding was so hard, he had reflux, would never sleep (or so it seemed at the time haha). He’s now 18 months and it is easier. It began getting better around 6 months, then at 8 months he could sit by himself, 9 months crawled and 12 months walked, as soon as they become interested in exploring their surroundings it’s easier.

Don’t be ashamed of taking some time for you, if a whole day is too much then just go for lunch with a friend, you’ll be so happy to see baby when you come back!

9 months old sleep regression is just a phase, usually between 1-2 weeks, where baby’s sleep will be all over the place. Sometimes it’s about putting him down to sleep that doesn’t work anymore, or frequent night awakening, or early wake, but it DOES PASS. All you gotta do is hang in there and be patient. (P.S. there’s another one at 18 months…)

It does help a lot to have a routine, so if you do have one, stick to it. We used to do books, bath, breastfeed, song and then bed.

And lastly, you don’t have to be in love with every stage to be a great mom! You take care of baby, he’s happy, you’re a great mom. Just don’t forget to be great to yourself also. I did that by indulging me with a Tassimo machine, I just did not have time to brew coffee in the morning and desperately needed a cup, so it saved my life. Find something you want, get it, appreciate it.

Post # 49
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@okqueenbee:  Yeah, there are developmental leaps that make sleep harder.  Like, she learned to pull herself up to a standing position but didn’t know how to sit back down.  That was a fun two weeks.  She is crawling around and very mobile so it makes keeping her laying down long enough to fall asleep really difficult.

Just like the growth spurts- ya know?  They just have different needs at different stages. It’s a phase, and hopefully it passes soon.

Post # 50
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsPanda99:  Yep!  They will end up being just shy of a year and a half apart.  We figured we’d aim for 2 years apart since I’m over 30 and time isn’t exactly on our side.  

Post # 51
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

The first thing I learned was that you will get puked on.  It’s not a matter of if but a matter of when and how often.  Even worse is that you can’t totally freak out about it because you might upset your child even more.

Urp!!!! Look of horror on face then terror as you hold in your own vomit while saying in as cheerful a voice as you can muster: “Don’t you feel better now?”

Post # 52
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Thank you so much for this. One of my bridesmaids had a baby last year and sat me down this Christmas and told me almost exactly what you said. She said she wasn’t trying to deter me from having a baby, she just didn’t want me to feel alone if I absolutely hated it, because she did at first. She is absolutely crazy about it now (he’s 18 months) but she said the first 6 months were like a war she just had to get through, and that she didn’t know it was “ok” not to like the newborn stage. Nobody ever talked to her about it.

I know I won’t like it either, ugh. But I’m so glad that she was frank with me, and I am SO glad that you are being frank and sharing your story on the bee. She told me the worst part was thinking that she was a bad mother because she wasn’t loving every second of new baby bliss or whatever. She didn’t realize so many other people also found it not… ideal.

Post # 53
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just finished the book “the second nine months”, I have a feeling that many posters will LOVE the book and identify with it.

honestly, I feel like I’m neglectful. My LO is 3 weeks old, and doesn’t mind his chair so i let him sleep in it most of the day so I can get stuff done. If he is awake, I try to engage him with tummy time and books, but it seems whenever he is around me he either wants to eat or falls asleep on my chest. Also , he sleeps I his crib, in his room. No bassinet, no room sharing, no bed sharing. The books make it seem like I’m damaging him, not bonding well with him, but this is what works for us.

He seriously is still the best baby ever, dosent cry often, is easily settled, breastfeeds well. And my c-section recovery has been a breeze. I should be loving this, but I’m terrified that this is now my life (I am now a SAHM), cooking, cleaning, laundering, childcare…I loved my job, I was important and valuable to my company. I’m afraid I’m not cut put for the Stay-At-Home Mom position, but I agreed to at least give it a try. additionally, this winter has been seriously awful, I haven’t been able to even take a wake with him outside because it has been so cold. Im getting stir crazy!

I hope everyone else is right, that he will become more engaging in a few weeks and life will get busie. And more rewarding.

Post # 54
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh girl. 4 months in. You are in the warzone! It get’s better!!

I feel ya though- on EVERYTHING. I also had an EMCS and to make things even effing cooler- my incisions (yes the inside and outside ones!) busted open on day 3 and I was on bed-rest for 18 weeks- all while trying to care for my newborn BY MY FREAKING SELF.

And the boobs…Let’s just say that a new mattress was in order shortly after baby came. I would wake up in puddles of freaking milk every damn night. BLECH!!!

Talk about never wanting to get knocked up again! My one and only is now almost 11 years old and I am JUST coming around to the idea of possibly having another. Maybe…

((Hugs)) sista. I swear to God it get’s better soon!!

Post # 55
11050 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@okqueenbee: Thanks for telling it is how it is.

Post # 56
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@okqueenbee:  +1 on number 3. I had an Episiotomy, and the healing is taking 4ever, I feel pain when i sit, stand, Poop (TMI), walk, e.t.c.

Post # 57
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m the opposite of you, OP. I am gonna have kids because I know I’ll regret it if I don’t. However, I absolutely dread the baby stage. I’ve heard so much bad stuff about the baby years from one of my friends that I am battlescarred already. I dread:

  • Being sleep deprived for months
  • Changing diapers – grooooooooooss! I actually don’t know how I’ll do it daily without vomiting.
  • The constant screaming
  • The lack of sex
  • The lack of quality time with dh
  • The lack of time to do basic things like cooking healthy food and keeping the house clean
  • The lack of time to do enjoyable things watch shows, meet friends, exercise
  • The idea that I will look like a sctuffy blob as won’t have time to do my nails or even put on makeup

I often say i wish I could just pop out a toilet trained 3 year old who sleeps normally.

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