(Closed) Confessions of a Serial Cheater

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove

Reading this made my stomach hurt. I dont understand how anybody could do this to someone they claim to love. Especially the part about if she ever cheated on him, he’d be hurt and wouldn’t know if they could work through it? My blood drained a little bit… jeez I’m so so greatful for my Darling Husband.

Post # 48
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Gross.

Post # 49
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

What trash.

Post # 50
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh my god…that is horrible. I’ve known people like this. I’ve also worked in food service and for some reason married men always try to hook up with waitresses and it would totally gross me out…but this is so much worse than anything I’ve ever seen. I feel so sorry for his fiance. What if she were one of us, or one of our friends? I’d hate to see the heartbreak in her eyes if she ever found out.

Post # 51
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

This makes me feel so sad and angry! I don’t know this poor woman in this story but I feel so much sadness and anger in my heart for her it makes my stomache turn. I hope this poor excuse for a man ends up lonely thinking about what he’s done to that woman. 

Post # 52
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

“You can limit how much of an asshole you are.” – Yes sir, it is good of you to acknowledge you are being an asshole.  However repeatedly cheating on your SO is not a matter of degrees you can limit.  Your the one who is delusional here, let’s just hope she wakes up and finds out before the marriage and runs for an STD check (hint condoms are not fool/idiot proof).

Post # 53
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have a friend like this, but she always just dates casually, that way she doesn’t get tied down.  However, people constantly justify their selfish behavior, this article is no different.

Post # 54
Member
3462 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@BrandNewBride:  I “dated” an asshole like that too. Funny how divorced rolls off their tongue easier than “married.”

Post # 55
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

well… ok, at least he cares about using protection *shrug*

Post # 56
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

In my lifetime I have known all kinds of people… many of them have “cheating” in their past.

And YES those who talk about it, say that they were driven by the excitement of the NEWNESS for sure.

Some of them did honestly give up Cheating once they got Engaged… as they felt there was finally a commitment made to them by someone else (those were women BTW)

Whereas several of the Men I knew just kept on Cheating right thru their Marriages

This article sickens me… because of his “justfying” his need / hunger… that it was all CAUSED by some woman who he dated once upon a time and cheated on him

Seriously DUDE if you had a problem, and you recognized the cause, you would have gotten some counselling

This DUDE doesn’t see it as a problem, and he sure as H3LL isn’t taking accountability or trying to change.

He may be claiming he’d like to stop, but he isn’t doing anything positive to stop

And he’s whining that he doesn’t think he can

Really !!???

And then he goes on to tell us with his too drawn out lovey dovey stuff about his adoring wife soon to be mother of his children

Seriously… tell that to Tiger Woods !!

Some men cheat and cheat… and cheat some more

They are NOT HONOURABLE MEN… they don’t deserve anyone’s compassion or understanding (which also made me SICK about this article, this guy is writing it as if he actually wants our pity that he’s wired to cheat)

I give him no feelings other than MY DISGUST

All my feelings are instead left for his poor wife… and the pain that she will one day no doubt know when she finds out that the man she has LOVED & TRUSTED more than anyone else on the planet has brought her world crumbling down around her

May she kick his @ss to the curb… and take him to the cleaners !!

May KARMA never forget him…

And may his children grow up to alienate him and disrespect him… may he TRULY FEEL SOME OF THE PAIN that he has inflicted on others.

 

Post # 57
Member
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh sounds like my ex. Poor girl.  I do think some men are like this, but not all. I think the serial cheater is a creature all it’s own with lots of different issues (some nature, some nurture) that have made them that way.  

Post # 58
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

EDIT TO ADD

And Ladies, I’ve also noted in my lifetime that Cheaters tend to “associate” with other Cheaters.  It somehow makes what they do feel justified / acceptable in their eyes (the Article Writer said that as well).  Men keeping their dirty little secrets amongst themselves.

That and they aren’t beyond “sharing” women, or using their contacts into a circle of young eligible women go farther for one another (see this a lot with cheating guys in their 40s for example… they are hanging with a group of 20 somethings, that they introduce their other Cheating Pals to)

So… If you know that a guy friend (or two) that your SO hangs with is a Cheater… then turn on your “womanly intuition” and zero in on your own guy to see what is going on

The Cheaters Pact is a fairly tight “Do Not Tell” Group… but that doesn’t mean that it cannot be broken

And a guy worth his salt, will actually talk openly… and with similar disgust to us gals, when they know someone is cheating.

Men who don’t cheat… and won’t cheat… don’t usually want to hang out with those that do.

Just saying.

 

Post # 59
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Years ago, I dated 2 or 3 guys who think like this.  They always get excited about the newness of someone else.  Of course, best to stay away from them.  But they exist for sure.  

Post # 60
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

LOL!

The first question is . . . when did New York magazine start printing poorly written, almost totally inarticulate articles?

And the second question is . . . what is that weird piece of black equipment in the photo – it sort of looks like an old carousel slide projector – and what is its relevance to the article, since it is so prominently placed??

Anyway, we can heap all sorts of scorn and contempt on this idiot writer, and it would all be well deserved. Guys like this are the ones to be avoided at all costs.

But to look at people like this from another perspective – the deep underlying reason for serial infidelity is the inability to understand that we need to make our lives whole and meaningful in and of ourselves. People like this guy are searching, searching outwardly for a sense of self-worth that cannot actually be generated from outside ourselves. They have nothing of value to bring to a real, true partnership because they have no idea who they really are – all of their focus is on outwardly validating themselves through their serial conquests, which never actually bring them any sense of fulfillment.

Post # 61
Bee
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

The problem with suggesting that he seek out an open relationship is that non-monogamy and infidelity are not the same thing.

A lot of cheaters get off on the thril of the secret relationship as much as they do on the newness. It’s entirely possible to have an ethical, consensual open relationship where one experiences a lot of that new “thril,” but I have a feeling that that’s not exclusively what drives someone like this to cheat. It’s fun because it’s against the rules.

We’re not sexually exclusive, and we have seen other open relationships driven to failure because one or the other of the married or “primary” partners does something that is a deal breaker, strictly against the rules, or behind the other person’s back. “Cheating” is a matter of what is “against the rules,” and even in a relationship where sex with others (even casual sex) is agreed upon, “cheating” still happens. If this guy wanted to be in an ethical open relationship, he would be. He doesn’t.

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