Post # 1
My fiance’s grandmother and aunt each want to throw me a bridal shower. His grandmother is on top of the shower planning and has already asked me for the guest list. I know the other shower is in the works and all I was told (not even by the aunt but my future mother-in-law through email) was "make sure you’re available for the 28th." My future in-law called my fiance and suggested to him a a couple of people she thinks I should invite to the shower but I have not been told anything or even been called about it. The problem is that I don’t have a big guest list (I’m new to the area)and I don’t know if I should give all the names of the people to the grandmother and then not have a list to give to the aunt and my in-law. It’s frustrating b/c I would feel bad if the aunt and my in-law threw me a shower and none of my friends would show up b/c they’ve already been invited to one shower already. Should I just give my list to the person who has thorougly informed me about the shower?
Post # 3
Can your fiances grandmother and aunt talk about the shower and decide on the guest list that way? Maybe you can have friends at one and family at another?
Post # 4
Neither of these two people talk (the grandmother really dislikes my future in-law and most of her family). Should I not feel guilty about having no friends show up at the aunt’s shower since at this point I am being left in the dark about it?
Post # 5
I would just leave the aunt’s shower well-enough alone. She clearly has her own ideas and is making her own plans. Just keep your expectations low. And try not to get involved, because it seems like more trouble than it’s worth.
But, as I understand it, you aren’t supposed to invite people to two showers anyway, excluding mothers, sisters and bridesmaids. Everyone else is supposed to only be invited to one shower. And no one is expected to give more than one shower gift.
So, I think the concern is less that no one would show up to the second one and more that no one will bring gifts to the second one.