- 4 years ago
Hi all! I’ve posted a few times about looking at different engagement rings, and while I’ve been looking, I keep coming back to this weird conflict in my head. The best way for me to describe it is with a little anecdote from just now:
I’m looking on Etsy just for fun and I see a super cool 3-stone white topaz engagement ring with a “twig” band. It’s about $200. BUT, I know that it’s not a “forever ring” because white topaz isn’t as durable. Also, while the ring is unique and my birthstone is topaz so it’d be sentimental, I don’t know if I can picture myself wearing it forever, beccause of wear and tear but also because it’s a trendy piece. Am I okay with having more than one “engagement” ring in my life? I’m not sure. That’s a thought I hadn’t explored yet. At the same time, the next ring on the page is a “lab created” diamond ring that looks like a traditional, timeless e-ring. It’s $40. I’m obviously okay with something that isn’t a true diamond because I’ve been looking at alternatives, but something that cheap seems tacky to me. I woudn’t want CZ for the same reason (no offense to brides with CZ rings! I realize not everyone has my weird issues).
Am I being materialistic? Is it okay to be materialistic about an engagement ring since I’m supposed to wear it for the rest of my life? I obviously don’t want my SO to get a ring outside of his means, but a $40 ring would feel like he didn’t really care, but it also bothers me that I’m equating caring to spending money. Part of me feels like the cost isn’t just about the ring itself–it’s about wanting to invest in the relationship–but I also realize the commitment of an engagement is an investment in the relationship (albeit not necessarily financially).
I feel like I’m rambling, so hopefully that made some sense. Has anyone else gone through this?