(Closed) Conflicted, Overwhelmed, & Unhappy

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Which Wedding Option?
    12 people in Ontario : (0 votes)
    30-50 people in Vancouver with a baroque theme : (4 votes)
    20 %
    100 people in Vancouver with Baroque theme : (7 votes)
    35 %
    100 - 150 people in Vancouver with Shabby Chic theme** : (3 votes)
    15 %
    100 or so people in Vancouver with combined Baroque/Shabby Chic : (5 votes)
    25 %
    Other (suggest below) : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    2053 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Your relationship with your mom, and the way she is trying to take control of you and your life, is a separate issue that I hope you can resolve separately. In the meantime, the best solution is the 30-50 people in Vancouver because there, everyone gets a little of what they want and everyone has to compromise some. Your mom gets the smaller wedding, fiance gets to be closer to family, and you get the closest to your dream wedding. Your mom has to go to Vancouver, your Fiance has to shorten his list, and you have to deal with your mom exploding. When your mom explodes like the Disney villainess, counter with the Disney happily ever after ending in that it is what YOU want. She may piss and moan, but she’ll be there that day. It ain’t all about her and it’s time, especially now as you officially cut the cord and marry, that you stand up to Mommy Dearest.

    P.S. Don’t feed into her fire. Consider breaking the news to her with your Fiance present. You’re deciding this as a team, you and Fiance, and the sooner she sees that the better.


    Post # 4
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Is your mom paying for the wedding? If she’s not, then while I understand wanting to keep her happy, it’s really not any of her business.

    It’s up to you and your Fiance to decide what to do for YOUR wedding. That’s what the day is about, you two getting married.

    I would go for whatever brings you as close to your dream wedding as your budget allows. But don’t keep comparing your wedding to Diana and Charles. You need to set realistic expectations for your event and truly make it your own and you will love it- no matter how big or small it is.

    Post # 5
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Can you wait until you can afford to have the wedding you want on your own terms?

    Post # 7
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    This is not your mother’s wedding. I repeat, this is NOT her wedding.

    Do what makes you happy. This is something that you want to remember fondly for the rest of your life, not look back and regret because it’s not what you wanted. I had my dream wedding on a very small, strict budget. It’s totally do-able.

    Post # 8
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010


    Agreed. Your wedding — Your happiness. It’s wonderful of you to think of her happiness but this is tearing you up and I can’t imagine any mom wanting you to go through this.

    If she cares more about herself, so be it. At least you will have the wedding you and Mr. C want and you won’t resent her the rest of your life for making you choose Ontario. Hugs!!!

    Post # 10
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Maybe have a simple ceremony sooner with just the two of you and maybe your parents with little/no expense.  Then have your dream wedding on your anniversary.  

    Post # 11
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    This is YOUR day.. Sounds like your mother is being selfish.. sorry if it sounds harsh.. but you are paying for it… its happening ONE time..  Why should everyone else have to make arrangements around you. This your your big day hun.. you want to share it with people that make you happy. Everyone may have to “give in” if they want to participate in your wedding day. I would suggest Doing it in Vancuver. Take photos in an upscale hotel. that way you have memories forever. Have a smaller Ceremony.. then a larger reception. Do what works for your budget.. if your FH has to trim down his side of the guest list then thats one sacrafice he will make.. just like your mother traveling.. she will only be upset for so long.. Shes your mom! She will WANT to be there!

    Post # 12
    2320 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We have the same mother. DO NOT give into her. Do what YOU want. It’s YOUR wedding. 30-50 in Vancouver sounds fabulous!

    The topic ‘Conflicted, Overwhelmed, & Unhappy’ is closed to new replies.

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