Conflicted! When someone tries on your engagement ring

posted 1 year ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
8815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I never understand why this is a big deal to some people. My friends, sisters, and co-workers and I all tried on each other’s engagement rings. Trying on rings is fun. And it’s easy, you don’t have to get undressed like trying on clothes and it’s not gross like shoes. Why is it a big deal? If for some reason I wasn’t comfortable with someone trying it, like it was a stranger or a known thief or something, I would just say my fingers were swollen. Most of the other suggested comments sound pretentious to me or like I’m making a big deal out of something that’s really not.

Post # 32
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

Holy moly, I never even THOUGHT about this because I would NEVER ask someone to try on their engagement ring. Good food for thought. I agree, it would be really tricky in the moment and I would likely feel similar. That’s so tricky…thanks for posting. 

Post # 33
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t think the engagement ring is the problem here. I think you feel down because you allowed someone to aggressively take advantage of your personal space. That’s a terrible feeling and a bad situation since it’s your work supervisor.

Post # 34
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Weddings & engagements don’t always bring out the best in people. I am sorry this happened to you and I agree that it is strange behavior. I understand family or close friends asking but co-workers is alittle out there. 

I like the suggestion of “I ate chinese good last night so m fingers are alittle swollen so I can’t get it off” LOL the other suggestion about the insurance is a good one too, very practical! 

I don’t recall this happening when I was engaged the first time and I can’t imagine it happening when I get engaged again (hopefully soon!). However, recently I had an old friend ask if I wanted to try her ring on after we talked about getting married. Her ring was/is beautiful and I said I wanted something similar so she offered to let me try it. I declinded because it felt uncomfortable to put someone else’s jewelry on. I don’t know, maybe I am the weird one. I think I was concerned that her fingers were much smaller than mine and it would get stuck, ha! 

 

Post # 35
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

It’s okay to feel the way you are feeling. I would be rattled as well. Next time, try to be more clear about your boundaries. “No, sorry I don’t take it off. How’s that project coming along?’ ‘No, sorry I don’t like to take it off. I have to go work on project X’. 

You do not need to validate how you feel. It’s YOUR ring/your property. 

And if that person doesn’t respect that, that’s their problem, not yours. 

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