- 9 years ago
Sometimes it’s easier to sacrifice myself to complete strangers, so here it goes. I am getting married in a few months and have been speaking with an old friend from high school on and off. In a nutshell, I recently found out that he had the biggest crush on me in highschool, I fancied him too, but both of us were too nervous to say a word (and he rolled with a slightly cooler croud, I just brushed it off as “yep he’s cute, but it’s not going to happen…). Now we’re talking just about everyday, I know that he still likes me… and I’m starting to develop feelings for him. This is totally unlike me, I’m not the sort that strays and feel bad for even flirting. Heh, this guy has told me on many an occasion that my Fiance is a “lucky man”. There’s a good deal of tension, gladly he is in a different state, but has been planning on moving and signs point that my city is on his list. Now, my Fiance… I caught him having explicit conversations with women online, little virtual affairs – hell, he had posted personal ads before under my nose (although he didn’t ‘do’ anyone). This was two years ago… (it happened before that too). We have since mended ties and are committed to our forthcoming marriage.(Yes, yes I’m not seperating this into proper paragraphs…). Still, ugh… I can’t stop thinking of this old friend (and it doesn’t help that the Fiance doesn’t have much of a sex drive…). We both are very happy that we’ve re-connected and I’m at a loss. I don’t want to leave my Fiance… we’ve been together for 6 years… I’m just dumb-struck as to what to do. I know the easy answer is, “flirt yeah… fine, but don’t act on it”, but I’ve been increasingly thinking of.. well, just that. And the thing is, it’s not just a sexual attraction thing… not at all… both of us have deep rooted feelings for each other that we never expressed (partially because we were a wee bit cowardly back than and couldn’t speak up).
Please, some words of advice. And keep the snark to a minimum, I already have enough guilt.