Post # 1
I need some help, I have a bit of an issue setting a wedding date –
My fiance and I are newly engaged (this christmas) and want to get married this year, living in the northeast we want to marry before the snow falls as our families are scattered throughout the country.
Finding a venue for a date 6-9 months notice, on a Saturday (to accomodate the traveling family) has proved difficult, especially on a budget. Well, after some searching we found the PERFECT venue that had three Saturdays open this year – one in June, another in July, and the last in late Sept.
We were delighted, until we spoke to family and friends about each date. The June date, out, same wedding day as one of our groomsmen. The July date – is another friends’ wedding. We are not that close to this couple, and don’t expect an invitation, however my fiance’s Best Man was, and his wife is a bridesmaid in that wedding. The September date – my Aunt, whom I consider a second mother and am very close with, has planned a 6 week vacation to Italy (the wedding date would be in the middle of her trip) – she unfortunately has bought her airline tickets.
I need advice- is there anything wrong with planning the wedding on that July date when a mutual friend has already announced her wedding date??
Post # 3
Well I know your not good friends with them, in which this case I say go for it. But do you have a large number of the same friends. IF so you will be making your friends pick and choose, which can always lead to resentment. I would just see, how much having your wedding on the same date will affect your bridal party, and guests. If its not going to affect their wedding, or yours at all too much. I say go for it!
Post # 4
Don’t set the date the same day as the mutual friend’s wedding when you already know 100% for a fact that your best man’s wife is a bridesmaid. That’s just trouble waiting to happen. Have you spoken to your aunt about possibly moving her trip up or back? If you all are really close she may be willing to help you out and change it. And what about October? Have you considered October as a possibility? It’s gorgeous here in the NE and it won’t be snowing yet.
Post # 5
If you don’t have a lot of mutual friends, I would say go for it. It’s not ideal, but will your weddings be in the same town? Best Man’s wife could always meet up with him later in the night at your wedding (maybe you could time yours to start later, if their wedding is an afternoon ceremony?), or else they each attend separately. While it’s not ideal, it certainly won’t kill them to attend a social event without the other.
The other option: is there ANY way that your aunt can change her travel plans? Usually you can change your flights with just a small change fee. In any case, it’s best to exhaust your options before you make this decision.
Post # 6
do you need it to be a saturday? we couldn’t find any saturdays open this summer, so we opted for a sunday. surprisingly enough, nobody has complained and we’re having a lot of out of towners coming. people are looking at it as a mini-vacation. if you want your fiance’s best man to not have to feel bad about attending that other wedding, since technically they planned it first, you should definitely go with another date.
Post # 7
Ooh didn’t read that part. I second that! Definately don’t! That would not be pretty.
You could always do a Friday Recepetion, those are getting more popular.
Post # 8
Yeah, this is tough. We set our Saturday date in January 2009…18 months in advance…and we snagged the last open date in June. Things book really far in advance now.
I would either consider (1) October (2) Friday or Sunday (3) Next year.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Honestly, if I were that other couple and found out you set your date for the same, I would be pretty upset…If you’re willing to risk that then the July date might work…One of our groomsman’s wife is a bridesmaid in a wedding the same day as ours so she won’t be able to attend…It’s a tough situation, for sure, but I think you have to weigh the pros and cons and ultimately decide what you’re willing to risk by picking the July date…
Post # 10
Thanks all for your comments.
Unfortunately the other wedding is in Vermont, and ours in NY, so no chance to attend both in the same weekend.
Unfortunately, my Groom is not open to a Friday or Sunday wedding since all of his family and some of mine will be traveling.
I’ve recieved many different opposing oponions on that from people in my life – some see it as, you will never be able to accomodate the schedules of 150 people, and to wait a year to accomodate one person may create regrets on the side of the bride and groom.
But I see all of the concern of myself and my grooms’ conversations posted here.
Unfortunately October won’t work – its an outside venue, and the tempretures get rather cool in upstate NY.
This situation has created a lot of tension between my groom and I – after looking at 50 wedding sites, visiting several, we’re realizing our dream of getting married looks impossible without scheduling conflicts. Have we come to an age where an 18 month engagement is necessary?? My groom really doesn’t want to get married in the winter months, again because of the weather and our dream venue doesn’t offer weddings until June. So we’d now be waiting 18 months.
I am so conflicted.
Post # 11
i can see a friday being a problem for travel, but why a sunday? like i said before, ALL of my family is traveling and half of my fiance’s family is too and we had NO issue from anyone about traveling on a sunday. in fact, most people are coming on saturday and taking monday off, since it’s the summer and people always vacation in the summer.
i thought my wedding HAD to be on a saturday too, until i realized that there were no saturday dates left this summer and due to a whole bunch of circumstances, we have to get married this summer. that made me change my mind real quick.
i don’t understand why you think people won’t travel on the weekend like that? have you asked anyone what their opinion was?
Post # 12
@Jenny: I don’t see much of a difficulty with waiting until next summer. Do you have a major reason that you really really want to get married THIS year? Most people I know have at least 1-1.5 year engagements (mine was over two years long) Plus, then you’ll have more time to save money and make plans. Just my opinion.
Also, fellow upstate New Yorker here! There’s lots of us on here :o)
Post # 13
None of these dates sound ideal to me. I think the July dat emay cause some unnecessary drama.
Can you consider a wedding on a Sunday of a holiday weekend? I am getting married on Sunday of Labor Day weekend.
Also, you might want to consider a morning ceremony with a brunch following or a hors d’oeuvres reception in the afternoon. This will probably open up more dates for you and save you some money.