(Closed) Confronting a cheating fiance

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
Member
7681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

nurseratchet :  I’m so sorry that he iis not the man you thought he was.   You deserve so much better.  If I were you, I would

1. Check into tenant laws.

2. Pack his bags.

3. Deposit them any where you want.

4. Change the locks.

5. Cancel the wedding, sorry.

6. Get checked out at your doctor.

7. Move on with your life.  And find your happily ever after.  

I’m so sorry.  

 

 

Post # 32
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

The intention to cheat is just as bad as cheating. In all honesty I think he’s already cheated; in the past and you are just finding out about it. The house is in you’re name, you kick him out and if he wants to make a big deal call the police and have them witness it as well as you’re parents if you want them there for support. The act of you blocking her and him unblocking her as soon as he got the chance speaks for itself in saying he cares more about her than you. He is an addict as well, and you seem to have you’re head on you’re shoulders and don’t need to babysit. If I read correctly you purchased the home on you’re name alone? Pack his bags and goodbye to him.

Post # 33
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m sorry this is happening, this really sucks. I agree that actively looking to cheat is the same as actual physical cheating, and I also agree with PPs that your instinct to call off the wedding and end the relationship is the right call. You’ve already received good advice on that front.

I will add that neither of your parents should be involved in this split. I understand wanting to lean on your parents and I think it’s good to plan on using them as supports…but they have no place in this “confrontation.” You’re an adult ending a relationship, and wanting your Fiance to feel ashamed as he looks into the eyes of your father is juvenile and frankly not healthy. Whether he feels shame or not is up to him – not you and definitely not your parents. Lastly, contacting HIS parents is inappropriate and poor boundaries. A break up is between two adults, not their parents.

Again, sorry you’re going through this 🙁

Post # 34
Member
346 posts
Helper bee

annelise210516 :  +1

nurseratchet : 

a. no need for confrontation. its over. 

b. witnesses present is a very good idea, help prevent things escalating or pack his things and change home locks

c. stay strong bee, its your first steps to hapiness 😀

Post # 35
Member
6628 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

This super sucks. I think your plan sounds good. I don’t think I would be able to resist throwing that “Wanna get naughty?” line back in his face, though. And I’d throw his stuff out and change the locks asap.

Post # 36
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I actually think having your parents help you with this is a good idea

1) to make sure he leaves, and quickly

2) to help you contact vendors. Contacting vendors on your own is not going to be easy, there will be negotiations, contracts breached, deposits lost. While you’re clearly a strong and capable woman I would think that a little help from your parents to get through that process is more than justified.

 

I am so sorry this is happening, at least you found out now and not two months from now. Move on with your life and away from this cheating asshole. 

Post # 37
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

Was sad the entire time reading this..you deserve better! Everyone does! Stay strong girl, you’re going to find someone who’s worth your love!!! Wishing you all the best <3 

Post # 38
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

RayKay :  excellent advice.  I’m guessing the OP’s in Texas.  That’s the only place I can think of in all of America, where a woman would want her cheating fiancé to look her dad in the eye, rather than apologize to her.

OP, I am very sorry that this jerk came into your life.  You are making the right decision to end it.  Please stay strong.  You will get through this.

Post # 39
Member
5166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Want to get naughty tonight? Yes they’ve already slept together. 100%. Don’t believe him when he says they didn’t. He’s a cheating scumbag . Kick him out asap and find yourself a decent man. Sorry this is happening but thank goodness you didn’t marry this fool. Let him go live with her.

And i think it’s a good idea to tell your parents. They will be there to support you and talk some sense into you when you have moments of weakness. 

Post # 40
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

Hi Bee, just checking in to see how it went. I’m really sorry you have to go through this! 

 

Post # 41
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - .

OP, I’m so sorry all of this happened! I’m not sure if I can give you much advice, but I’m definitely rooting for you, and sending good vibes your way!

Kick that cheating twatwaffle to the curb!

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