Post # 1
Okay! I don’t know what to think about this. I’m just completely lost. I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now. It’s a long distance relationship, and we just had our second face-to-face meeting, which lasted five days. Halfway through the trip he brought up the subject of how, if we’re going to make the relationship work one of us is going to have to move. We discussed it a little, not a lot. He wants to finish school first. So I said then sometime next year.
Now I’m a bit of a planner, I like to try and plan ahead just so I have a date to focus on. I can figure out how much money I can save, what my weightloss should be sitting at, and small things like that. I put a date out there tonight, and it just did not get the response I wanted at all. I got a, ‘I don’t know…..I don’t plan that far ahead.” Okay … so, now what??? I tried to explain just how I am, and why I picked a date that is 14 months away. I didn’t see anything wrong with it, and it just felt like I got the frightened response??? I don’t know. But right now, I feel like an idiot. I’m just going to forget about it I guess, I don’t know what I should do or think. =(
Post # 3
My husbands not a planner either and I’m just like you. Once he decides something though, he’s ready to go ahead and do it right away! Did you put it back on him and ask him what his thoughs were on it? Maybe he was thinking you would move there sooner or something like that? How often do you 2 talk? Have you started talking about the serious things (do you want kids, how about finances, where do you want to eventually live, etc)?
Post # 4
@dodgercpkl: We haven’t touched base on kids, or marriage yet. But it just feels like I’m all ready being pulled into his family, if that makes sense? He threw it out there during our initial discussion that he’d like us to move in together once he has finished school. He’s almost finished, this coming year will be his final if he doesn’t slack off. I all ready told him that I wanted to move there, that I felt at home and we discussed that basically it’d be in the Carson City area. This would be the first time either one of us have left home as far as living on our own goes.
Post # 5
It sounds like it might be too early to float the marriage/engagement topic around. What with you having met face to face twice and not having talked about marriage or kids. Every relationship is diferent I know, but I know Darling Husband would have had a really tough time talking about a wedding date if we hadn’t talked about things like marriage and kids yet.
Post # 6
I would agree that it sounds like it might be a bit too early to talk about seriously moving there. While it’s great that he’s thinking about the future, maybe a concrete future is a little too soon for him. In his mind, setting a time frame, means that it cannot be changed ever, and if your needs or relationship changes, it’s still a set in stone date. I’d lay off a bit, and re-approach the topic with him in another six months. Of course, you can still “plan” on your own 😉