- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
So I am married 🙂 My MIL and I didn’t fight at the wedding + 1. She did make a seriously frowny face at me and shake my hand after the wedding (when everyone was hugging us and congradulating us)- which considering, I guess wasn’t bad.
She and her husband sent their older child out to Foodlion four times during our reception and brought in outside booze (we had wine, mead, beer, but I guess it wasn’t to their standards?). They got super drunk and hid the bottles under the table- tacky, but didn’t make me look bad, just them.
She losened up the drunker she got- danced with my husband, socialized a little with my family and our friends, hugged me when she left. I said I was glad she danced, had a good time, and it really meant a lot to my DH. I was careful not to lie and to say things I actually meant.
My DH was invited to her 60 birthday party (two hours away) via the phone. He doesn’t think I was invited and he didn’t really pay attention to that because he knew I wouldn’t want to go anyway. So he can’t really say one way or the other if they mentioned me- so I think that means I wasn’t invited.
They have invited him out to things before and asked why I didn’t come- which is odd and confusing (example: DH went out to a breakfast with his dad for father’s day, surprised his mom was there, and then asked why I wasn’t- communication in this family is horrid, he thought father’s day breakfast with dad, they thought family breakfast having nothing to do with father’s day- where they would discuss me and our wedding and if he was “Really” happy with me). So there this some possiblity he will go and they will ask why I didn’t and blame me for them not inviting me.
On one side I think it would be stupid of me to go to this birthday bash. She won’t like me being there and there would be tension. He hasn’t been to their house in two years because of the passive agressive emails and backhanded comments made by his mother. (read all past posts please).
Part of me really doesn’t mind my DH going to his parent’s house for her birthday. The other part of me thinks that this is going to turn into another passive agressive communication from his mother or that she will assume she never has to include me in any family event (really not sure that I mind not being included…)
Just kind of confused about how to feel right now. Maybe I am over thinking this…
PS- We are sort of doing family counseling. Started 2 or 3 months before our wedding. I only attended one session via phone (due to distance apart). My DH has spoken to the counselor two or three times over the emails that his mother sent. The couselor continued to work with his mother weekly to get her to play nice at the wedding. We said we would continue with counseling after the wedding – depending on how the wedding went (ie if his mother made a scene or not). Which all things considered the wedding went ok with her- but she clearly still hates me for taking her son away…