(Closed) Confused about new relationship

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Defiantly just be honest with him! You don’t want to beat around the bush with stuff like this sense you are already fairly sure of your feelings!

Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

What did you mean by wanting more?  To be exclusive?  I think I would just be honest.  Tell him that you aren’t dating anyone else and you would like to be exclusive.  If he’s not on board with that then you aren’t on the same page and it might be time to keep looking.

On the other hand though, if you both just got out of really serious relationships then you might want to take it slow.  Sometimes when you get out of something so serious you are quick to find a replacement for all the things you miss. 

And then on the third hand :), since I don’t know the whole story, he could be needing you to go slower.  If you think that might be the case then give him some time and let him bring it up again.  I would say another month would be fair.

Post # 5
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Biggest question you need to answer is whether or not you are willing to take a chance that this is something GREAT?  If so, let it play itself out.  If you are more of the cautious type that doesn’t want to risk the pain, then let your desire for exclusivity be known again…for me, I would rather just put it out there now.  If he feels the same way, great…if he doesn’t, well then at least I didn’t waste any more time (and I decrease the risk of passing that “point of no return” when you fall HARD for someone and breakups/separations hurt a little more).   

Post # 6
Member
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

why not let things grow naturally? let him be the one trying to tie you down! i think you should keep your options open until there is a commitment. one that he pursues. in fact, you should even keep dating other people if your goal is marriage. don’t put all your eggs in this brand new basket!!!!!!!

Post # 7
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@pinkandgold:

Maybe just mention casually that you’re considering deleting your profile on the site.

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

LOL. I don’t mean to laugh at you, but this is how online dating works. You meet someone and unless they see fireworks and hear the angels sing, they will be meeting you, and others as well. Consider this analogy. Men “shop” for girls online like we shop for shoes. We think we’ve found the perfect pair, but we can’t stop searching. Until, one day, the shoes of your dreams walk in your life (dumb imagery, but pun intended). So yes, be 100% honest with him, right now. That way, he knows where you stand, you don’t fall deeper for him and if you’re not on the same page, you will find someone who is. If you want to delete your profile, go for it. If he is truly interested in you, he will say “Why did you delete your profile?” and you will tell him that you don’t like dating multiple people at once, or whatever you want to tell him. If he’s not interested in you, he won’t even notice or care that your profile is gone.

Post # 9
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I’m going to be honest here… If you were both on the same page about how fast you wanted this to go and to what level… you’d know it by now.

He would have already ‘claimed’ you and taken his profile down.

I don’t mean this in any way shape or form to be bitchy but, I think he is just not that in to you.

Internet dating is tough because I find a lot of people get sort of addicted to it, the attention and wondering, even when they’ve met someone great, “is there something better out there”.

But I would back completely off and go on some other dates with other guys.  You never know; the man you are meant to marry might have already mess you and you will never know because you’re putting all your money on this current guy.

 

Post # 10
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry if this is intrusive, but are you sleeping with this guy?

Post # 11
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would just have an open honest discussion about it with him – maybe he is shy , doesnt want to scare you off – maybe he is still “shopping around” . You wont know until you talk to him about it.

Post # 14
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Oneeleven: I swear I wrote this! Totally agree with everything you said.

Post # 16
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you should mention that you are happy with how things are going with him and you no longer feel as though you need to keep your profile. See what he says…if he hesitates or says he would like to keep using the site, then there is your answer.

ETA: I met my now Fiance online. He deleted his profile immediately after our first date, because he said he knew deep down that he did not need it anymore. I kept mine up for at least 2 more months because I was not ready to delete it – I wanted to make sure that he really was it.

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