Post # 1
Member
8 posts
Newbee
so my fh and i have decided we want to go to the courthouse to get married. we had originally planned on doing it on a friday and having a reception/bbq afterward. problem is the courthouse has changed hours and is now closed on fridays. we already paid for the place we will be having the bbq ( its a house that you can rent out for the day) the “big day” is in two months exactly. so we thought, well we will just go ahead and get married on a thursday ( no one except his mom and my sister are coming to the courthouse because our families are scattered and we didnt want a group of people to come to that, we dont miind it being small bc we been togather for 6 years and i dont care about dresses and things like that we both just want our friends and relatives to come and have a party and be able to share in that with us and i want to whole reception deal, since i am not having a wedding i still want it to be a day all about us and i dont wanna sacrifice that) but anyways, we sent out the invitation already and have started recieving back rsvp cards so we will know how much food to buy and etc.. but see everyone is under the impression this is a “formal” thing. I thought i made that clear, we didnt register at all, we dont want gifts, we send out a little poem in the invites that said if they wanted to give us a gift, we would appreciate money to help with a honeymoon cause money is tight. but people are getting confused and im starting to wonder if i did something wrong?
Post # 3
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Saunders386: Can you tell us what your invite said? or put up a picture of it, so we can determine if it’s formal looking or sounding?
Post # 4
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
Can we see a picture of the invite? I wonder if the look was more formal, so people think that it is (perhaps if it’s just a white background with black lettering). Or perhaps the words did not allude that it’s a casual event.
Post # 5
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
Yeah, hard to tell with just the description. If you sent a postcard, I would wonder why they’d be confused. But if you sent a formal invite to the BBQ, I would be confused as a recipient too.
Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee
i dont have a picture but it was just a plain white invitation card with black lettering, its said
you are invited to a marraige celebration in honor of
(name)
&
( name)
at (place, date time)
Post # 7
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Well that’s formal. Very simple and reads as formal.
Post # 8
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper
Any kind of “marriage celebration” would make me think semi-formal unless it specifically stated on the invite that it was a BBQ or that it was a casual affair.
Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
we only invited really close friends and family, so they dont think nothing of the fact that its a bbq, in fact they are the ones that suggested it, but i do have a few “snots” who had elaborate weddings and coworkers who are like ” what should i wear?, have you got your dress yet?, and they keep calling it my reception. i just feel like embarassed i guess cause i didnt mean for that to happen seeing as it was gonna be a reception till we realized the courthouse hours changed AFTER we sent out invites
Post # 10
Member
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Saunders386: That’s a pretty traditional wedding invitation.
If I got that I’d assume a “cocktail attire” ceremony and reception.
Post # 11
Member
8 posts
Newbee
ok, you guys may be right. but what do i do now that its done, so that no one shows up in dresses and expecting a wedding to happen?
Post # 12
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Saunders386: mass email…or have a wedding.
Post # 13
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
That’s a formal invitation. It’s formal wording and the presentation (plain white paper and black ink) is formal and traditional. If I got that invitation I would assume it was a “regular” wedding if that makes sense, where the men where suits and women wear dresses. I’d also assume that there would be a ceremony. If you have a small group of people, I’d spread by word of mouth, that it’s a bbq reception- no ceremony- and the dress is casual.
Post # 14
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
Ditto to what everyone else said. 😉 I’d just do a mass email and word of mouth to correct it.
Post # 15
Member
8 posts
Newbee
i like the email idea, thanks for everyones advice, i have no one to ask bc my close friends dont really understand my stress of this. i thought this was gonna be small, and fun and its turned into more headache than ever before. the other day i almost had a melt down, and no one to ask this too. so i appreciate it, btw, what kinds of stresses are everyone having as the day gets closer?
Post # 16
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
Yeah, what the PP’s have said. Even the mass email to explain a little better. Since the invitation looked simple and formal instead of something more playful ppl aren’t going to want to come dressed down just incase.
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