Post # 1
Okay, I’m going to apologize in advance for how long this might be. Fiance and I are in a serious dilemma. He can’t decide who he wants as his best man. I have my girls figured out and the order set but his guys are kind of up in the air. The problem is, two of my girls are married to two of his guys. Seems like an obvious decision to have them walk together. It’s not. FI’s little sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. Fiance and I have been together over 4 years and I’m super close with his sister. Next in line is my SIL who I’ve asked to be my matron of honor. So basically I have 2 MOHs. Fiance only wants one best man. No big deal. Okay, so we have my 2 MOHs, childhood best friend, close friend, and my niece. FI’s guys (in no particular order) are high school best friend, 3 close friends, and my nephew. We know my nephew will be last to walk with my niece. Another pair that is already set my childhood best friend and one of his close friends are married so both will be walking third.
Here’s the problem. FI’s high school friend was going to be best man, since we didn’t want to split up couples. But Fiance and I have talked about it and we really don’t think he would take the role seriously enough. Serious immaturity problems.. Anyway, the Bridesmaid or Best Man walking 4th is married to the guy we both agree should be best man. We’re both way closer to him than mr. high school. But can we really separate them? I mean, is that totally ridiculous? BM#4 would end up walking with her husband’s cousin. (Seriously small town, everybody’s friends J ) Oh, and not to mention, BM#3 (childhood friend) is total drama queen and would have a hissy fit if her husband (who we’ve known longer) isn’t best man and the other guy is..I know that shouldn’t matter but the fact of the matter is, it’s something to think about.
We just don’t know what to do. How can we ask a married couple to be in the same wedding but not walk together?
Post # 3
Why don’t you have all the men just enter from the side, then have the ladies walk by themselves? Or alternate between a bridesmaid and a groomsman walking separately? Like, your Maid/Matron of Honor would walk, then his best man, then your next Maid/Matron of Honor, then his next groomsman, etc. My friend did that because she had a longer song, and it looked fine.
Post # 4
I guess it depends on your people and their temperaments, but if objectively speaking, I wouldn’t bat an eye if a married couple were “separated” for walking down the aisle if the husband had special Bridesmaid or Best Man duties to do.
If you really don’t want to separate them, there’s no rule that just because he’s Bridesmaid or Best Man means he has to be last down the aisle OR that he MUST walk with the Maid/Matron of Honor. If he walks with his wife, then he can simply split off and stand in the appopriate spot next to the groom so he can hand off the rings and all that once he gets to the altar. I highly doubt anyone in the audience will even notice.
Post # 5
I personally would never want someone to line me up in a wedding w/o my husband or in other words my husband “with another woman”. I know as brides we only see what looks good, but think about their feelings too. or do the single line-up as suggested,
Post # 6
Obviously sammers is seriously considering others feelings – hence the post. Plenty of alternatives here. I def think you should choose the ‘guy walking 4th’ instead of ‘high school guy’ if you’re having doubts. I really don’ t think it matters at which stage he actually walks down the aisle, as long as he performs his duties and is situated next to the groom for the rest of the wedding. I think he may be happier to walk down with his wife though and probably the dancing as well (if you’re doing that), otherwise maybe walk down in intervals as suggested by Triciaanddazzling.
Post # 7
I’m having my MOH/sister walk down the aisle with her groomsman husband, and having FI’s best man walk down the aisle with FI’s bridesmaid sister. I don’t think it’s a big deal and that best man & Maid/Matron of Honor HAVE to walk down together. I’d rather them be comfortable and with the person they want to be with.
Post # 8
I definitely would not give any honorary titles just because you don’t want to “split up” a couple. They’ll be walking together for a few seconds (or not at all if you like any other the alternatives given.) Or, you could have the couples walk together and just get in the right place when they come to the front. Don’t worry, I’m sure no one will be upset!
Post # 9
A friend had the same thing in her wedding. She had BMs and GMs enter separately and then the ones that were couples walked out together. It looked fine IMO.
Post # 10
Ok. This is probably going to come across as really mean but I don’t intend to be and I’m sorry in advance.
I really don’t understand the problem. If you want Groomsmen #4 to be Best Man. Then have him as Best Man. Why does he need to walk with his wife (they’re old enough to walk without each other I assume)? Why does he need to walk with anyone? In fact, why does he need to walk full stop?
Maybe it’s a UK thing, and we don’t have groomsmen, but the Best Man NEVER walks in. He’s supposed to be there for the groom, to support him. To stand next to him whilst he waits for his bride and settle his nerves. Can the men not just be up front at the start?
I wish I “got” this groomsmen thing sometimes.
Post # 11
I definitely don’t think you should be choosing Bridesmaid or Best Man according to who can walk with who. Have your Fiance choose the Bridesmaid or Best Man he wants and you can figure out the logistics later on. Most weddings I’ve been to, the groomsman haven’t even walked in, they’ve come in with the groom from a side entrance and waited at the front of the church or other venue. So, that solves half the problem. When it comes to walking out, would it be that big a deal to have BM#4 step out of line to walk out with her husband? Personally, I think that people in wedding parties would understand not walking out with a spouse if the spouse was Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor, but maybe that is just me.