(Closed) Confused and Anxious

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Dressed obsessed:  Don’t feel selfish or guilty! There’s nothing wrong with wanting to travel and have fun before getting pregnant and having children.  Waiting a few months to TTC isn’t going to hurt anything.  No matter what point you decide to take the TTC plunge, you’re going to have these feelings.  It’s a huge life change and it’s totally normal to be apprehensive about it! That doesn’t make you a bad or selfish person, it makes you a normal human being!

Post # 5
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Dressed obsessed:  If you want to wait, wait! Don’t feel guilty about it! I was happy to be pregnant on my honeymoon to Hawaii (20 weeks), but I was also sad that we couldn’t go to Disneyworld and Harry Potter World like we had originally planned (couldn’t go on the rides!). I had a great time in Hawaii pregnant, just fyi ๐Ÿ˜‰ DH aren’t huge drinkers; we spent most of our time out and about with tours, snorkeling, beaching, etc.

Post # 6
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Dressed obsessed:  All the guilt and anxiety you feel during TTC and pregnancy is just preparing you for the lifetime of it you’re bound to feel as a mom!  Makes you a good one that you care that much already!

I wouldn’t want to be going to Hawaii during  my first or third trimester, but if it’s in the second, you should feel great to go (other than not being able to drink and do certain activities depending what type of vacation excurscions you guys are into).  You could always wait and start trying on your trip! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 7
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Dressed obsessed:  Don’t feel guilty about waiting. If it fits in your plan then just go for it. However, on the other end of things, you could put off having kids forever because something is coming up. In your case though I think waiting until after this trip is totally worth it. You have time ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Dressed obsessed:  I think it’s totally normal you feel this way. If you get pregnant and travel to Hawaii, the only down side is that you can’t eat all the delicious pokes and drink alcohol. But I bet you’d still love Hawaii. It’s one of my favorite places in the US. Hawaii is where I want to do my last hurrah when I get pregnant!  If you decide to wait, I don’t think you’re being selfish. 

Post # 10
1783 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Dressed obsessed:  you are not being selfish to wait, because if you are then I was.

We originally planned to start trying Oct 2012 but then because we booked and trip to Europe (24 hour+ flight) for Easter 2013 I asked DH to put off TTC until our trip because I didn’t wanna chance being up to 6 months pregnant (7 by the time we flew back I doubt anyone would let me fly that late anyway…). As it was we didn’t wait until our trip and started TTC the month before we left but my thinking was at least I’d only be barely pregnant so it wouldn’t make me uncomfortable for the long flight. 

Unfortunately I’m still not pregnant but I KNOW if we had started before the trip we would’ve got pregnant straight away – Murphy’s Law and all that hehehe

Post # 11
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Dressed obsessed:  Hey we got married a day apart, hello almost date twin!

I completely understand how feel. DH and I started TTC in October and lo and behold I am 9 weeks pregnant with our first child due in August. While I am thrilled that it happened so quickly I was also a little let down (maybe not the right word) that I didn’t get a few things done first. Then I started scrambling to try and plan a big trip before the baby was born, we were thinking a big multi-island Hawaii trip in May. Then I thought, why?

DH and I were talking during our recent NYE trip to Yosemite and we both agreed while some things might have to change there isn’t anything that our life involves, nor are there any trips that we take/are planning to take that cannot include a child. In fact we look forward to taking those trips and sharing it with our child.

I have traveled the world many times over, lived abroad and experienced many things. For me I am ready to settle with nearby trips with my baby. I am at peace with the prospect that I many not see my friends in Europe for years. I have checked things off my list and I am ready to move on. It sounds like you might not be there yet and that is absolutely 100% okay.

Wait a bit and see if your thoughts change as they very well can. TTC can take a month, months or years and you never know until you start trying. Live your life as you hoped and dreamed now and see where it takes you. You could always go the not trying not preventing route to just see where you end up.

Post # 12
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

@Dressed obsessed:  As far as travel goes, we are planning a trip (more like a business/family trip) around June, and I might just be pregnant then, yet I think I would be fine. Most people say the second trimester is the easiest. As long as I don’t have any complications at the beginning, I would assume it should be no problem. If you are flying, it would be more comfortable. On the other side, if what you are seeking is complete enjoyment which guessing by your post, it sounds like, then if you can wait a few months to start TTC, go for it. There is no guarantee you will get pregnant right away nor after 5 months.

I am turning 29 next month and we are starting to try this month. Luckly, I can kill two birds with the same stone, pick up my sister and see family to possibly/hopefully share the happy news.

Post # 13
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

4 months is not 4 years or anything! I think one last big vacation would be amazing!

Post # 14
2797 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You aren’t selfish at all! I waited until I was 32 to start trying, and I’m happy I did!

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