- 8 years ago
So glad to find these posts. They do make a waiting girl feel less alone. So here’s my story.
I am 29 and have been with my bf for 4 years this month. He is almost 24. We’ve had the marriage discussion a lot in the past year or so and he said he wasn’t ready for that give him a couple of years because he wasn’t sure about his job abd he was young. Well, we started talking about buying a home and I told him if we were buying a home I wanted to be engaged. Ok, I was pushy and I’ve been pushy about it for on and off for the past year. Hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, he said fine so I told him I was going to start planning and I did. We even put an offer in on a home which wasn’t accpeted.
I did not have a proposal or ring yet. He was saving money and one was in layaway that I picked out. Well, a few weeks ago we had an argument that started when he said he was going to buy a motorcycle in the spring and I got mad. I said we had to worry about a home and other things right now and it wasn’t fair for him to buy a bike when we had the house stuff to worry about. Well, somehow by the end of that argument the wedding was off and he said he didn’t want to get married and he didn’t know if he ever would be ready. He just keeps saying he can’t do that right now because he is “out of steam” and “not happy with himself”. He said he didnt’ want to break up he just didn’t want to get married. He also said that I pushed him into it and he said ok to everything because he didn’t want to deal with me being bitchy about the whole thing and that he wanted to get marriend, but then he didnt’ want to. I think he’s afraid of all the respobsibilty that comes with marriage and a house and he feels too much pressure from me, work, himself. I don’t know…
I am just so upset and confused. I have vowed to never mention engagements or weddings to him again. I have just been so hurt over this. It kills me when everyone else gets engaged. I am the LAST ONE of my friends. They are all married with kids at this point. I hate people asking me if I’m engaged or married. It makes me feel awful.
Any advice is appreciated.