Post # 17
Thanks, everyone. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the advice. I’m still really confused and hurt, but have decided I’m going to do my best to work this out with him. I think this has truly shaken him to the core, and he’s ready to do whatever it takes to build the trust back up between us. Hopefully he’s learned his lesson and realized how damaging, hurtful, and disrespectful his behavior has been. I’m willing to forgive and move on this time, but I certainly won’t put up with it again. I guess only time will tell. Thank you again.
Post # 18
WOW I dont know what to tell you but this is not a good sign for your upcoming marriage…good luck!
Post # 19
@ClareBear12: I’m very very glad that you did. Sometimes I think folks don’t give a thought about how their actions are going to affect their loved ones. I hope you read the thread that was referenced to you. The OP also went through something similiar. I wish you good luck.
Post # 20
@ClareBear12: I’m glad you are taking a more positive and level headed attitude about all of this. Indeed, like PPs have stated, couseling would be a good step in the right direction. I hope everything works out for you.
Post # 21
I don’t have any advice, since this is a really tough subject. But one thing I do know, all of your feelings are validated. Don’t be sorry for how you feel. This is so difficult for anyone in your situation. You need to work through this now and don’t bury it for later. Maybe push the wedding back a bit. Seek couseling. You and your Fiance don’t have to tell anyone, work it out with a professional. Work through it now, so you can decide for yourself and live a healthy minded life. If you quickly forgive right now, it would probably surface again and not really give your relationship/marriage a chance. Wishing you the best.
Post # 22
I am sorry to hear this because when trust is broken and doubt enters it can be a very confusing time. I know that people are saying go to counseling but ClareBear12 we really mean it. This past Saturday my Fiance and I finished our pre-marital sessions and they were one of the best decisions we could have made. They teach you so much and how to start those tough conversations off and work to resolve issues.
I have been where you are with an email that was not appropriate and it hurts just like I imagine it would have if he had committed the act. This occurred when we were just dating years ago. We got over it but only after many talks about how it made me feel, it is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated, and re- assurance that it would not occur again. Dont’ call the engagement off but get this resolved before marrying him.
Post # 23
I would call it off, but i’m very black and white about those kinds of things. My husband and I have been married for almost four years now- if i were to find emails like that in his inbox I’d be calling off the marriage. A. I don’t like being decieved and B. The behavior is immature.
If you feel like you can forgive this and are happy in the relationship, you should stay. Everyone is different.