(Closed) Confused and misunderstood trust?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

So what exactly is the reason you want a divorce? Because he was not upfront about with whom he was staying? It does not sound as though he did anything besides that, right?

It sounds to me like you guys need to bring some fun back into your relationship. Do you go on regular date nights? Do anything without the kids?

it seems like divorce is about 20 steps away. Communicate with him. Why was he deceitful? Is he happy in the relationship? One of those deep honest conversations. But at this point, it seems like something that you really can work out. 

Post # 4
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Your post is tough to read. Did he share a hotel room with a woman? If yes, I agree that’s inappropriate. If not, I don’t see what he did wrong and I think you should try to let it go. You should also talk to your husband and try to figure changes you both can make to your homelife to help him feel less stressed and more engaged with the family.

Post # 7
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

English, do you speak (type) it???

Post # 8
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Have you considerEd counseling to learn how to speak to each other. It seems like you’re upset about the weekend but its just a symptom of other issues in the relationship. 

Post # 10
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@rosworms:  Wow, what an awesome comment.  Your grammar/spelling/sentence structure must be above reproach.

 

OP – I am confused about what he actually did.  He went to Vegas, and told you that the people there would be both male and female, but it turns out it was him with a bunch of women.  The women, from your descriptions, sound a little wild, but did he do anything?  Or do you just not trust him because of the women he was with?

Post # 11
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

He clearly didn’t do anything with them if they’re saying that “he’s taken so don’t bother,” (that’s how I’m reading “you can check him out but he’s taken”).  Maybe he lied about who would be there, but it seems odd to purposely lie about that without cheating…and all indications say he didn’t cheat.

I don’t see anything worth divorcing him over.  Like relaxed suggested, couples counseling could really help you two re-connect.  

Though I’m interested in his philosophy that only white women cheat.

Post # 12
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@peachacid:  My posts may not be perfect, but they are legible. I think someone who is going to make a post as long as this one should at least go through the effort of making it easy to read and use actual words instead of just ‘n’ and ‘u’.

Post # 15
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Trustornot:  It sounds like he puts you down a lot.  I wasn’t trying to be snarky with my “white women” comment.  You’re white, and he tells you that “They don’t cheat like white women.”  Have you cheated on him?  If not, it seems like a really weird put-down.  I can’t post any analogy here without being banned, that is how weird it is.  Maybe, that’s like marrying a blond and saying “Don’t worry, my doctor is a brunette, so she’s not stupid like blond girls are.”

He won’t eat the food you cook, he gives you the silent treatment…how long has this been going on?  And in front of your kids?  This isn’t healthy or normal.  This is probably the first time anyone has ever said this but, the Vegas trip is the least worrisome thing going on here. 

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