(Closed) Confused Bride — Emotional Wreck — Need Help, but Very Long Post

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

Cancelling a wedding is easier than filing for divorce.

Post # 3
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee

 

If you live like roommates, there is zero passion and you believe you’ve grown into different people, then sadly I think you have your answer.

I know it is very upsetting but don’t go through with a marriage unless you are 100% sure and 100% happy. At the very least, postpone it.

Post # 4
Hostess
4490 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I am sorry bee 🙁 I think you know what decision you want to make but are afraid to make it, which I understand. My Fiance and I also have really different schedules to the point where we only get a few hours each week together. Like you, we usually spend them making dinner together and lounging on the couch, but I still feel really satisfied just to chat and hang out with him. I’m also very social and into working out, so I do that while he’s working. I think that if you’re in the right relationship, things feel right now matter what you’re doing. The lack of intimacy is troubling, as is feeling like you’re not compatible anymore. Please don’t feel guilty whatever you decide. At the very least, I would postpone the wedding indefinitely until you can discuss these things with your Fiance and see what, if anything can be done. Honestly it sounds like you’ve grown apart and don’t work well together anymore. Good luck bee and I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 5
Member
3535 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

It sounds like the relationship has run its course.  Just because you will mourn it, does not mean it’s the right thing to stay.

Post # 6
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

In My Humble Opinion you’re not confused, but you are hurting. What comes across very starkly from your post is that you’ve both done a lot of growing in the past 5 years. Just not together. And not closer. So you’ve grown up and grown apart.

It’s not your fault and it’s not his. LIFE happened to the two of you.

 

Now go start a life you actually want and feel passionate about.

Post # 7
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Cancel the wedding, you are realizing things that most people can only see clearly in hindsight. It will be super hard, but in the future you will be SO much happier. Good luck.

Post # 8
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
alwaysserenity:  i don’t think it’s going to get better. and that is okay, people change and grow and relationships don’t always last forever. better to recognize and acknowledge it now while you can make a clean break. 

no one should stay in a luke warm (at best) relationship. 

seems like you already know everything that everyone is telling you and maybe just needed some reassurance. i hope that you’ll go out and find real happiness. goodluck Bee. 

Post # 9
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

He left the ring in the drawer for over 2 years?? What a douche move – that alone would have had me out the door. Pay attention to what your instinct is telling you. It’s there for a reason. 

Post # 10
Member
4240 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Those first two years of “perfection” do not matter right now.  You could have had the greatest relationship in the entire universe for those first two years, but that does not matter now.  What matters is how you feel about the relationship at this point in time.  What matters is that you do not want to be his wife.  You do not want to be married to him.  Honestly why are you planning on waiting another MONTH???  It sounds like you have already made up your mind.  You would just end up sinking more money into this wedding that won’t happen.  It is a lot easier to cancel a wedding than get a divorce!!

Post # 11
Member
9927 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
doberman:  

Oh yes. She custom designed a ring that he then put away for 2 and a half years !!!!. I will never understand (anyone ) even doing that  for 2 and a half weeks , so  , this would to me have been   the deal breaker.  I hope OP is free by now and on her way to healing .

Post # 13
Member
9927 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
alwaysserenity :  

Well, how lovely! I am so pleased for you.

Post # 14
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

It’s great to hear a happy ending! 

Post # 15
Member
753 posts
Busy bee

What a lovely update! 

Very pleased for you!

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