- 2 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
I am very confused about what to do with a situation with a male coworker and would appreciate your opinion.
I am very close to someone at work – I would even call him my work spouse. We came from the same background and get along very well. We used to talk every day. He sits in a different office but we talk over IM. He is very funny and is a good listener.
He is also extremely helpful with work. He’s taught and helped me out a lot. Our two departments don’t always work together but we we do, it’s a great collaboration.
BUT once in a while, he would give me the cold shoulder and I could never understand why. He’s done it 3-4 times now, but this time it has been the longest – he hasn’t talked to me in 2 weeks. Before when this happened, there was one time when I kept trying to talk to him again and it worked. Other times, he just started chatting again like nothing ever happened and I went with it because I didn’t want to cause any drama. But now… it’s been a really long time. I tried to ask if he’s ok and he said “just busy with work”. I know he is very busy but I also know he usually just complains, would not go cold shoulder like this. When we had to work together a couple of times, he was all business even when I tried to make a joke – it was pretty cold.
I keep wrecking my brains to see what I could have possibily done. The most recent interaction we had was when he came to the office to visit – we met in person for the first time and went to dinner wtih two other guys. He was very quiet but everyone had fun – I talked to the other two guys more because they were more talkative. AFter that, he was kind of cold to me the next day. Then he left the office without saying goodbye, but did send a text message saying it was nice to meet me in person. I didn’t respond – I guess I should have but I was busy with something else.
Ever since, there has been 0 talk or contact except work. It’s killing me – we’ve been good friends for about a year and I am very close to him at work. I don’t really talk to anyone else because I like to keep to myself at work to be more productive. I’m really lonely and sad and have no idea what happened or what I can do. Part of me want to confront him but I probably will just get the “I’m busy BS”. I also don’t want to rock the boat too much because I want to be promoted to his department eventually and will work even more closely with him, so I have to keep things cordial. His boss really likes me already. I’m just waiting for one of his coworkers to retire in 2020 to step in…
What do you bees think? What can i do?
Also, I don’t know if this is relevant – we are both married. I am in my early 30s and he is in his early 40s.
I miss him terribly and just want my friend back! But a part of me thinks that since he’s put me through this so many times, it’s best to forget about it, leave it alone, and just be cordial colleagues, so I’ll never have to go through it again. It hurts so badly when ppl go cold shoulder to you without an explanation though…