Post # 1
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
hello to everyone. Hope you can shed some light on my dilemma.
About 6 months ago I met a man while on holiday. We had maybe 3 encounters(nothing romantic) just meetings and talking etc. We started an email friendship.
Its a a strange one because he keeps giving me mixed messages and right now I’m questioning my sanity.
He or I will email. Then I don’t hear for a couple of weeks. Then he mails me again saying he loves my thinking etc. Short message as we had not spoken for a while. Actually we haven’t spoken because he lives in another country and so it’s email. It wasn’t anything romantic at first. Just a friendship thing. Not anything that required heart to heart talks. I made up my mind he was not interested and got on with my daily life until a week ago he emails again!!
I became very unsettled and upset.
So so I plucked up the courage and sent an email asking him what did he want from me.
It read like this
i want to know what you want
One night
One week
a love affair
a friendship
none of the above
and i I said there would be no more emails unless he answered me truthfully
he emails back asking me was it my email or a fake?
i said it was mine no fake
now 3 days later still no answer I guess he was pretty shocked as I never hinted at any intimacy before with him we always kept it “friendly” but I was tired of the games it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t want anymore from him but I do. I want it very much
have I done the wrong think?? I think he was pretty shocked hence he had to check that it was actually my email
should i now just forget him or what? It’s wrecking my head but I haven’t told him this I think he probably knows how I feel given the options I gave him probably thinks I’m a brazen huzzy!!
please bees some advice we are both middle aged and I feel so foolish
Post # 2
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
This sounds like 6th grade. He’s not interested. Move on.
Post # 3
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
My hunch is that if he were interested, he’d either email more in the first place or respond enthusiastically to your most recent email. Since he’s done neither, I have to assume that he’s not interested.
Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
bonnybee : it doesn’t sound like you two have talked enought at all for any kind of relationship to start. It would be rather odd. You hear from him once in a blue moon but you want a relationship..?…huh?
Yeah, he doesn’t sound interested, he sounds bored… I’d stop replying.
Look for a local relationship.
Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
This is silly. Drop him and move on.
Post # 6
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Forgot to mention I asked a very sensible work colleague what he thought and he says from a man’s point of view he feels He is totally interested but uses these excuses to stay in contact but not getting to the point. It’s just a man’s point of view.
Post # 7
Member
4960 posts
Honey bee
I’m really confused as to where mixed messages come in. You took what appeared to be completely friendly platonic occasional chatting via email in which you never previously hinted at anything remotely romantic – you were basically pen pals and…just the mere fact he emailed you was your indication he was interested? Do you think everyone who emails you in a friendly manner is somehow toying with your affection?
You built it up in your head, you misread signals, and you overshot. Move on. If it will make you feel better, you can write one last email apologizing for the misread and then move on.
Post # 8
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
Nothing about this is normal if you want a real relationship with someone. He doesn’t sound at all interested, so I’d just drop this.
Post # 9
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
I’m sorry dear, from what you’ve described it really sound like he was just being your friend..
Post # 10
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Just to say this man has been sending me pictures of his grandchild, talking about his business etc. He has also replied to say that as always he is not sure what he wants. I don’t think that “anybody” who emails me is interested in me. I actually don’t receive these type of emails from other men. But I do believe that this man had some attraction towards me but doesn’t want to act on it. He may also be just looking for me to help him with his business which we had spoken about. All this happens when one is lonely. I am actually married and my husband knows we email and constantly tells me that this man is very attracted to me because he has seen how he is when we are together. I am very lonely in my life and in marriage.
Post # 11
Member
4018 posts
Honey bee
Whoa full stop. You’re married. That was an important piece of info you left out. You’re lonely and you’re looking for attention and affection where there is none. Focus your energy on your marriage. Stop emailing this guy.
Post # 12
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee
You’re married and asking him if he wants an affair? WTF?
Girl, if you’re lonely in your marriage you should probably talk to your H or attend couples counselling. Not attempt to start an emotional affair with someone who’s not interested.
Post # 13
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee
Wait you’re married? And you and your husband talk about how much he likes you because of how he acts ‘when you’re together’ – which was 3 times, on vacation, once?
Post # 14
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
Um, no. You just jumped to crazy town.
Post # 15
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
MARRIED!?!?!! Why the hell are you seeking attention from other men?? That’s called CHEATING.
Seek marriage and personal counseling!!