(Closed) Confused by RSVP cards

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@kitkat618:  for our wedding we just have a dual entree so they didn’t get to pick, but i did have the person that made our invitations put a line for people to note food allergies or dietary restrictions (i got mine on etsy, so not sure about minted & those sites)

Post # 5
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@kitkat618:  Hello, kitkat. Welcome to the WeddingBee.

I have some good news for you, and it is an absolute delight to me to have the privilege of giving you this news BEFORE you get too deeply immersed in “all this wedding business.” It is this: There is no such thing as wedding etiquette. Your wedding is special and a wonderful chance to host the fanciest party of your life to date, but it is still just a part of real life. The same common sense and good manners and formalities that you use in your everyday life are just as appropriate when planning your wedding. Do not feel obliged to do anything that would feel ludicrous to you at any other time. Do not feel like there is some mysterious “right way” of doing things that trumps what you already know about polite social behaviour.

Which brings us to your question.

How do your formal dinner guests usually choose what menu option they are going to eat? My guess is that when you have people over for dinner, you think of what you know of them and YOU select the menu based on that — and that they go along with your choices and if you guessed wrongly they play around with their food and try to keep you from noticing — and stop at Wendy’s on their way home. And that is precisely the most proper, polite and elegant thing to do at a huge formal dinner like a wedding dinner. You do not need to offer a selection of menus as if it were a commercial restaurant meal. You do not need to inform your guests ahead of time. You just invite them and assume that the important part of the evening — the good company, and celebrating with you — overrides any menu concerns they might have.

Now, while we are on the topic, what kind of R.s.v.p. cards do you usually send out when you invite people to a party? Traditional formal etiquette (the kind that deprives stationery vendors of yet another extra claim on your pocket-book) allows wedding guests the same leeway that other guests have: of using their own stationery to write you a note of reply, or (sigh) phoning or texting or emailing you their reply if they don’t know that they are supposed to reply in the same way that the invitation was extended: by writing to a written invitation, by telephone to a telephoned invitation, and so on.

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@kitkat618:  depending on the website, they might allow you to make “custom” changes to the design to add a line for entree choice. if the site you are using doesn’t let you do that, try weddingpaperdivas.com- they’ll let you make custom changes for no extra cost

 

FYI- I do not represent weddingpaperdivas in any way, I just ordered my paper stuff from them and was pleased.

 

The topic ‘Confused by RSVP cards’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors