- 8 years ago
Hi hive… I could really use your support right now.
Some background: Fiance and are stretching (financially) to make the wedding happen. Originally, we had decided it was important to us to have a wedding for both us and our families. As the babies of both families (and the last ones to get married), this would be the event to bring people together (on both sides).
More background: my family has never been thrilled with my choice for a FH. He doesn’t have the same education level and is an introvert (so they see him as not being able to keep up with me, or be in the same caliber). All of this is true (to some degree), but I find our personalities compliment each other really well.
Also keep in mind, that Fiance and I have dated for 4 1/2 years and we are 34/35 years old! So, it’s not like we are rushing into anything.
My mother informed me yesterday that my sister will not be attending the wedding. She and I had a falling out a couple months ago (because I refused to let her bully me and I stood up for myself (first time in a long time)) and I feel like this is her way of punishing me. She also told my mom that she will not allow the rest of her family (husband and my favorite nephew) to attend.
That conversation then went into how no one likes Fiance or FI’s family and my mom is sad for the choice I’ve made.
I got upset and asked her why she just couldn’t be happy for me. She told me she was happy because of me, but sad because she doesn’t think Fiance is the best choice for me.
I then was further appalled, because she said something like I do more for Fiance than I do for her. (More background – my father passed away when I was a kid, and through the years, my mom (perhaps to an unhealthy degree) has depended on me to do things. She’s in her late 70’s and still very able, but I think there is a part of her that feels like she’s losing me (knowing that she won’t be my primary focus – let alone to someone that she doesn’t approve of).
But, in a huge nutshell – all this drama is making me rethink if I even want a wedding. The whole point (IMO) was to get the family together to celebrate this new union. But, the reality is, I know they won’t really be happy for me.
I do have a first cousin I talked to last night (he doesn’t have a clue as to what’s going on with the immediate family) and it was so refreshing because he was interested in the plans and telling me how excited he was for the big event. It just made the disparity between how my immediate family is acting and how he is acting so clear – and, it makes me question why I’m making sacrifices to make this wedding happen (when we could take that money and use it for other things!)
Anyway – we are 6 months out and I’m only about 2K in for deposits – meaning, if I were to cancel it now, it wouldn’t be so terrible. I’m so confused. I keep asking myself if I’ll regret it, but – at this point, I don’t think I will.
FI’s been super understanding and will go whatever route I want to take….