Confused! Help on dealing with wedding guest demands

posted 1 year ago in Guests
  • poll: Should I
    invite A so that Y is happy : (0 votes)
    not invite A but accommodate the seating and any other request Y makes to try and recover friendship : (5 votes)
    8 %
    forget about Y's friendship and just focus on the wedding : (58 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    sofiac1905 :  Y’s bereavement was 18 months ago?! Oh I thought it was recent. In that case I totally retract, she has a strong case of overstepping the mark and should be placed back in her box. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

    Post # 17
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

    sofiac1905 :  Don’t invite Y or A. Y shouldn’t be making demands of you like this. A real friend wouldn’t. She already knows you are not friends with A. How much sense does it make to invite someone you are not friends with to your wedding to appease someone else. Get rid of both of them.  I would never ask my friend to do something like this.

    Post # 18
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I would invite Y but not A, and I would not consider her seating request unless it just happens to work out.

    Post # 19
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    The moment Y started making demands, I would have been reconsidering inviting her to the wedding at all.

    You are not obligated to invite people just because another guest demands it – no one is entitled to an invitation. You have very good reasons for not inviting A and it was very presumptuous on Y’s behalf to assume that A would be invited in the first place. Throw in her demanding an invite and she becomes downright rude. Likewise, demanding where to be seated is definitely rude and overstepping – there is no way I would be honouring this request unless it happened organically.

    If you want to try and salvage the friendship, invite Y (but only her). If she still chooses not to attend, that’s 100% on her and at least you can walk away from the friendship knowing that you did everything you could.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2513 posts
    Sugar bee

    Guest’s job? To respond “yes” or “no” to invitation.

    Bride’s job? To send invitations and refuse to discuss anything with anyone about any part of the wedding before the glorious event occurs. 

    A guest has ZERO say in any part of your wedding planning and the rules are stated above. You invite whom you wish. How a guest responds is their business, not yours. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    After seeing the extra information you added that the bereavement was 18 months ago, I am inclined to make the decision now, especially as you have others you would like to invite.  Her ignoring you gives a pretty clear sign that she isn’t going to play anything straightforward, doesn’t care about making things tough for a bride close to her wedding, and so inviting her at all could trigger another flurry of demands and/or a lack of RSVP/no show/show without RSVP, none of which is stress you need.  Her rudeness well and truly negates any need to invite her just because she knew she was on the guestlist.

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