(Closed) Confused :'( Non-denom Christian groom refuses Catholic Tradition

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

Just like you can’t go against your religious beliefs, then it is unfair to ask him to do the same.

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I understand where both of you are coming from.  I think it’s admirable of him though to not do something that goes against his beliefs, so maybe you can try to think of that as a positive. 

Hmmm…is there maybe a compromise?  Like you can do the prayer alone, or maybe play the song Ave Maria somewhere during your ceremony?

Post # 5
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

@yumkarepie: 🙁 That can’t be any fun. But personally, being very strong in my own personal faith, if Fiance asked me to do something that was against my beliefs, I would pick Jesus over him, hands down. Don’t think I love Fiance less for it, but I just love Jesus more. And that kind of sounds like what your Fiance thinks to.

I’m not Catholic, but are there any other wedding traditions you might include that would be less contriversal to him? I’m pretty sure communion is frequently included in Catholic wedding mass (I think?) and since other denominations practice this rite too, would that be something he might be okay with?

And honestly, again this is just MHO, but would you really want to be marrying a man (when it seems faith and relgion are important to you) who would just throw what he believes about something as important as his relgion to the wind for you? I think this is something that needs to be addressed, because not only your wedding, but what about future children? You say you attend the same church together now but will you want your children christened, taking first communion and confirmed in a Catholic church? Or in the church you currently attend? 

I totally get that your culture and how you were raise is uber important to you. But it also seems this is one thing your Fiance isn’t willing to budge on. I vote, try to find some other aspect to include that reflects how you grew up without compromising what your Fiance currently believes.

Post # 6
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

That would be a deal breaker for me on his side, you are asking to break with his religion for a song, not fair, IMO, and I am a protestant and ex catholic.

Post # 7
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Compromise works both ways. You should be proud of your Fiance for not compromising his beliefs. Many less devout men would just do what you tell them…

Post # 8
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’d like to echo MademoiselleL.

Could you incorporate an acoustic version of the song, or would he still feel unsettled about that?

Post # 9
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@yumkarepie:

Wink I am in a similar situation..one in which i have a tense relationship with my Catholic dad. I have converted to my fiance’s non-denominational Christian Church as well…It was a huge decision for me…Believe me it has NOTHING to do with him not loving you. At the end of the day a husband has to answer for his wife and family. I to was not into denying my Catholic upbringing, but by being respectful to others esp parents.At the end of the day..no wat is in ur heart cuz i guess kids will be in the situation to eventually.

 

Post # 10
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

 You are putting more weight paying homage to family and their traditions than to your husbands real life faith. Im pretty sure both Catholics and Non-denominational all believe that God comes first in the marriage. 

Is it just that Ava Maria is a traditional song that people do at weddings (and you want to please your fam), or does it really mean something holy to you like it does your husband?

To me religion is a deal breaker! My guess is that your Fiance is not going to agree to anything ” Catholic” because the majority of it is blasphemous from his point of view. 

I hope there is something yall can work out! 

Post # 12
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@yumkarepie: I would see that as an offense to God, IMO.  If you are getting married in a church, you would be hard pressed to find a pastor to allow that.

Post # 13
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

 

@yumkarepie: I would see the flowers & the statue as idol worship!

hmmmm. I’m not sure in what way to include your heritage in the ceremony…what does your Fiance imagine the ceremony as?

 

Post # 15
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you could say something about how you see Mary as a role model of a mother and wife…but the statue might not be allowed in a protestant church unfortunately.

Post # 16
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@yumkarepie: Like Argentina said more eloquently, I would see that as idolatry and therefore an offense to God.  Protestants do not honor her and I know that it is something engrained to us as Catholics, but she is seen as no more than a servant just like you and I.  I am not sure how you could bring in most Catholic traditions into a wedding, as I have forgotten more than I remember.  Maybe you could go to the pastor performing the wedding and see what he suggests. 

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