(Closed) Confused, stressed & no idea what to do

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh honey, I am so sorry.  This is horrible.  I am a cynic at heart so I never believe what I hear at face-level with these kinds of things.  I mean when you get caught doing something rather then fessing, you have to back track & make things seem less hurtful then what they are.

Even though this is devastating you can recover.  But it will take complete honesty from your husband.  You can’t recover and then “oops” find something else he never disclosed or you’re back at square one.

I would ask for complete and total transparency.  With phone, email, online activity and enter counseling together.  I have seen other couples do it… as long as both parties are totally committed.  I wish you the best of luck.

Post # 4
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

Oh Hon Im sorry to hear this.

I think counseling is a way forward. Have you tried contacting these women? I wouldn’t start a family until you have black and white answers either.

I was seeing a man I met over the internet. He told me he was seperated and made out his soon to be ex-wife was a complete crazy women. 8 months later, I discovered he had had a full blown afiar with me and I didnt even realize it. I just wish the wife at the time had phoned me up and we could spoke woman to woman. It would of saved us both from the liar. None the less they are back together and got a second child on the way. I know he will cheat again. I’m lucky I came out unscarred, I just wish the wife had aswell.

So maybe you should get in touch with the womena and see whatt hey have to say?

My heart goes to you at this time, no one deserves this xx

Post # 5
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This kind of post is definitely an eye-opener, and I am so sorry you have to go thru this 🙁 

I think it sounds like you both are going to take the proper steps and see if you can reappear what he has broken.  You are a victim, and just had the rug pulled out from under you.  This will take time for you, and my hope is that thru the counseling he not only gets to the heart of WHY he did it, etc, but gives you the time to heal. 

Remember to take care of yourself.  Yes, your immediate instinct may be to ‘fix’ him, but thru all of this, ensure you can get to a comfortable place with him once more.  Ensure you are learning to trust him again, and not resent him, or have to a be a person second guessing what he is doing, etc.  The reason I write that is because YOU DESERVE IT!  You deserve to start a family with someone who will always respect the vows he took, and since you want it to be with him, then I hope it works out for you both 100% 🙂

Post # 6
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Everything is fixable, he crossed a line but not THE line….you going to go all over the place emotionally on this, remember we all make mistakes, and stay focused on honesty, communication and each other.

Post # 7
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

🙁 so sorry hun. sending lots of hugs and support your way. 

Post # 8
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry you’re going through that : ( 

I would go to counseling and try to fix it, but ultimately I wouldn’t want to start a family if there was a chance that it would be broken up down the road. This is NOT impossible fix, but it’s going to take a long time and a lot of work. 

This may turn out to be a blessing if it wasn’t meant to be, but it’s still hard and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I think that it’s hard to know someone 100%. The people we trust the most sometimes hurt us, and learning to move on from that is hard, but important.

The topic ‘Confused, stressed & no idea what to do’ is closed to new replies.

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