(Closed) Confused wife :(

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
685 posts
Busy bee

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anna_met :  You cook, clean and financially support a man who talks to other women?  Leave his ass!

Post # 32
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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anna_met :  nawww girl,  he’s talking out of his ass.  Get a lawyer!

Post # 34
Member
644 posts
Busy bee

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anna_met :  If you don’t even know about the testament (and I assume didn’t even signed it), I don’t think that is enforcable to you.

What is this testament anyway? It doesn’t sound like prenup.

Post # 35
Member
2002 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get a job abroad and move to another country,  but it certainly doesn’t prevent him from working now to pay the bills and add to his resume.  Any job that he can apply for from another country will be fairly high level and he’ll never get one of those with an unexplained gap in his work history the size of Texas. Sounds like he’s qualified for low-level jobs where you apply in person. Tell him to either:

1) get a job here,  now, and  pay the bills to save up for a move abroad

OR

2) pack up and go back home to his momma if he’d like to act like a child. 

 

ETA: Just read your response again.  This is not a marriage. This is a child throwing a tantrum.  He’s going abroad without you?!?! Get out before supporting his lazy ass costs any more money. 

Post # 36
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Please bees, when answering remember: OP is in the Philippines. Correction: OP is in an Arab country

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anna_met :  So it’s his house and you get nothing if you divorce? Then move out and rent somewhere.

The fact that he beat you means you should definitely leave him. A man should never hit his wife. Never ever. What is your family situation like? Can you move back to your parents until you find you own house?

I suspect the legal situation for you is difficult in the Philippines this country, but it is important to move out, for your own safety. You will save money because you will not be paying to support him. Please talk to someone you trust (not in his family), and find out what your legal options are.

Post # 38
Member
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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anna_met :  contact churches in the Phillipines and tell them about your troubles. Ask for help getting back home. Email them and call them. Tell them you are desperate.  

Post # 39
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee

Deleted. I am late on comments 

Post # 40
Member
2002 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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anna_met :   which country? We might be able to find resources for you,  but for now I suggest saving money for a plane ticket home to your family. 

Post # 41
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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anna_met :  Depending on which arab country, this could be a very difficult situation for you. So it sounds like your husband is not Filipino?

My advice would be to contact the Philippines embassy and try to organise how to get back to your home country (without your husband). Perhaps even see if your family in the Philippines can help with this.

Post # 42
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: LA Athletic Club

Many people from the Phillippines move to Dubai for work so perhaps that could be the reason. My fiancé has family in Dubai and some of the employees that work for his uncle are from the Phillippines. 

Bee, you deserve better. Please seek out support from your family or friends and leave him asap. Abuse is not okay! Ever!

Post # 43
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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anna_met :  if he is up chatting with girls on Facebook and treating you like a maid and piggybank then he’s probably cheating. Check your state out in regards to affairs and meet with a divorce lawyer. If you are not in a no fault state it may be worth it to try and catch him in the act. It may mitigate any harm he could do with his idle divorce threat.

 

By The Way your situation in not normal even in the slightest. Almost all couples  split housework and income in some way…it shouldn’t ALL fall on one spouse. Also, flirting tons isn’t ok or normal either. 

Post # 45
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee

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anna_met :  Do you have any programs in yor area for women suffering from abuse? If you aren’t sure, try to research it and look into those options.

Staying is not an option. He is abusive, manipulative, and has no consideration for you. This is not the type of man you or any woman deserves. You losing your virginity does not make you less of a person and it holds no grounds in how anyone should treat you. Your sex life before you marriage is your own business and nothing to be ashamed of.

Do you have any family to fall back on? Can you save up enough to rent a place to stay? Think over all your options but please do not stay. Can I ask where you are from? Maybe some people can direct some support programs that way.

Living with nothing is better than living with him. Trust me.

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