(Closed) confused.scared.helpless

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Miss-Rose:  try doing a new activity together that you both will probably like. Do a “date night” at least once a week where you experience something new. I know that relationships can become complacent, but usually they have periods of excitement and just plain old days. Try spicing up life and see if you start having more meaningful convos. 

Post # 5
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Miss-Rose:  Sounds like you’ve just hit a rough spot in your relationship… they seem to happen after about a year, and then every couple of years after that! Definitely talk to him about it. You should be able to talk to him about ANYTHING!

p.s. Not putting spaces between your sentences makes your posts difficult to read! Not trying to nag, but people are more likely to get through the whole post if it is easy on the eyes 😉

Post # 6
Member
3902 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Miss-Rose: 

Its really normal for people in relationships to get to that spot where they have kind of covered all those interesting topics and found out the other persons views and beliefs…..Don’t be unhappy.. just think of it as you know him well and you understand his thoughts and processes….you know about his childhood, you know about those times in his life that define him…..

Its all apart of being in a true relationship….sitting together in silence is normal….you could never do that with an aquaintence because that would just be weird. In a relationship its ok to have silence and just sit.

If your really bothered by it….find new activities to do together….that sparks conversations.

I think cultivating a group of  mutual friends could also help. Going out  together with a group of mutual friends  can create the opportunity to talk to eachother. Whenever my Fiance and I go out with friends we always chat about our impressions of the night…like what the ladies said to me… what the guys said to him…..it can be quite fun!!!

 IMO Laughter is important in a relationship too….being silly together and having ‘in jokes’ is just as much fun as those deep and meaningful conversations you have with your partner!!!

Good luck… I hope you feel happier in your relationship soon!!

 

 

Post # 7
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Miss-Rose:  I am picturing an eldery couple sitting next to each other.  I am guessing they probably have covered every topic known to humans already and discussed it more than once!  But they are not worried there’s nothing to talk about anymore.  There’s a love, a quiet love, that still bonds them whether or not they have insteresting conversations all the time.

Try doing a new activity together.  Try dance lessons, go to a concert, try a new restauarnt.  I see you’re in the United Arad Emerties – not sure what you can do for date nights there.  Can you even date prior to being engaged?  Do you need a chaperone?  Not eery single topic needs to be covered before you marry a man, but yes to all the very important ones (religion, marriage values, money values, kids/no kids, deal breakers)

Post # 8
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Miss-Rose:  “i would realllyyyy appreciate your help! because my confidence is getting torn up into pieces.and my mood seems to be constantly down because of this”

 

So if it’s THAT worriesome and THAT stressful to you – then of course bring something up to him.  Why would you ignore something that you are feelnig about so strongly?  I think it’s a little dramatic (torn up in pieces), but hey that is what you are feeling and don’t try to ignore it.

 

Say something like, “I noticed how we used to talk for hours.  Do you miss that?  I miss that.  Those intense conversations made me feel so connected to you.”

Then see what he says in reply.  Maybe that will start a new discussion there.

 

(PS – Two spaces after periods (.  )  is common and makes for easier reading!  Thank you!)

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