Post # 1
i have officially been in a relationship for about 9 months now.unofficially for more than a year.we love each other.and have known each other our entire lives.practically from the tme i was in diapers.–i’m 7 years his junior.we weren’t that close right from the start.we started off as friends 4 years ago and then the friendship just grew and now we are here.
we used to ALWAYS have SOOOO much to talk about!!! soooo many interesting and hilarious things!!!! used to talk for ages!!! and just keep talking.but now i don’t know why but we don’t seem to have anymore interesting conversations.i love him and want to spend time with him but it doesn’t feel fulfilling and good anymore.
we both have really hectic fields.i’m a medical student and he’s a chartered accountant.maybe that has a hand to play in this.but that’s not something new.the boring convos started 2 months ago.and they just seem to keep stretching on…
Post # 3
@Miss-Rose: try doing a new activity together that you both will probably like. Do a “date night” at least once a week where you experience something new. I know that relationships can become complacent, but usually they have periods of excitement and just plain old days. Try spicing up life and see if you start having more meaningful convos.
Post # 4
should i talk to him about this?or just leave it? i don’t want him to think of our meetings and calls as boring if it hasn’t crossed his mind yet.i love him! and we are perfect for each other.and i want to spend my entire life with him.but this conversation problem just keeps bugging me 🙁 and it’s not like he’s not serious.he keeps bringing up marriage and kids and houses ,which is actually really cute
i would realllyyyy appreciate your help! because my confidence is getting torn up into pieces.and my mood seems to be constantly down because of this
Post # 5
@Miss-Rose: Sounds like you’ve just hit a rough spot in your relationship… they seem to happen after about a year, and then every couple of years after that! Definitely talk to him about it. You should be able to talk to him about ANYTHING!
p.s. Not putting spaces between your sentences makes your posts difficult to read! Not trying to nag, but people are more likely to get through the whole post if it is easy on the eyes 😉
Post # 6
Its really normal for people in relationships to get to that spot where they have kind of covered all those interesting topics and found out the other persons views and beliefs…..Don’t be unhappy.. just think of it as you know him well and you understand his thoughts and processes….you know about his childhood, you know about those times in his life that define him…..
Its all apart of being in a true relationship….sitting together in silence is normal….you could never do that with an aquaintence because that would just be weird. In a relationship its ok to have silence and just sit.
If your really bothered by it….find new activities to do together….that sparks conversations.
I think cultivating a group of mutual friends could also help. Going out together with a group of mutual friends can create the opportunity to talk to eachother. Whenever my Fiance and I go out with friends we always chat about our impressions of the night…like what the ladies said to me… what the guys said to him…..it can be quite fun!!!
IMO Laughter is important in a relationship too….being silly together and having ‘in jokes’ is just as much fun as those deep and meaningful conversations you have with your partner!!!
Good luck… I hope you feel happier in your relationship soon!!
Post # 7
@Miss-Rose: I am picturing an eldery couple sitting next to each other. I am guessing they probably have covered every topic known to humans already and discussed it more than once! But they are not worried there’s nothing to talk about anymore. There’s a love, a quiet love, that still bonds them whether or not they have insteresting conversations all the time.
Try doing a new activity together. Try dance lessons, go to a concert, try a new restauarnt. I see you’re in the United Arad Emerties – not sure what you can do for date nights there. Can you even date prior to being engaged? Do you need a chaperone? Not eery single topic needs to be covered before you marry a man, but yes to all the very important ones (religion, marriage values, money values, kids/no kids, deal breakers)
Post # 8
@Miss-Rose: “i would realllyyyy appreciate your help! because my confidence is getting torn up into pieces.and my mood seems to be constantly down because of this”
So if it’s THAT worriesome and THAT stressful to you – then of course bring something up to him. Why would you ignore something that you are feelnig about so strongly? I think it’s a little dramatic (torn up in pieces), but hey that is what you are feeling and don’t try to ignore it.
Say something like, “I noticed how we used to talk for hours. Do you miss that? I miss that. Those intense conversations made me feel so connected to you.”
Then see what he says in reply. Maybe that will start a new discussion there.
(PS – Two spaces after periods (. ) is common and makes for easier reading! Thank you!)