Post # 1
About a year ago, a friend of mine from college who lives out of state asked me to be in his wedding party, and asked me to arrange his bachelor party. I accepted. Unfortunately, the wedding is in about two months, and I haven’t gotten any additional informaton about being in the wedding party. I’m not sure what my role will be, or who else in is the wedding party. I want to bring a guest, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to or not. I received a save the date card and an e-mail about their gift registry, but wedding invites have not been sent out yet.
The bride and groom are very difficult to contact, and when I do talk to them I can’t get a clear answer on anything. “We’re working on it” is their standard answer to all questions. They are very nice people, but have a tendency to be quite disorganized. Also, I’ve gotten the impression that they have asked a lot of people to be in their “wedding party” without understanding what that means. For now I’m just sitting back and waiting, but I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to back out of being in the wedding party but I do want some direction. Should I start trying to plan the bachelor party?
Post # 3
No, wait until you hear more. You have done your part by reaching out to them.
Its possible they asked you too early and are now going a different direction.
Post # 4
Speak to the groom and tell him you need more information. Ask him if he still wants a bachelor party. If he does, he has to hand over some information so you can plan- starting with the names and contact information for the rest of the wedding party, the dates he is available, does he have anything he’d liek to do or not to do.
Tell him if he can’t provide this information you won’t be able to plan the bachelor party.
Post # 5
@dwainwr123: I would start out by telling them you need to set aside time to talk about your role in the wedding party. Talk to the groom and let him know that since the wedding is soon, you need some direction towards organizing the bachelor party, including who is in the wedding party, who should be invited and what area it will be hosted in. As forbdates and guests, I would tell him that you are planning to get a hotel room, but need to know if you are allowed a date so you can arrange that before the rooms are sold out.
I must say, it seems odd that at two months out you were given a save the date. Are you sure it’s not a wedding for sept 2013?
Post # 6
@takemyhand: Thanks for the reply. The wedding is definitely for September 2012. I am going to try to contact them again. Besides any lack of communication, my other concern is a perception that they may not understand what a wedding party is. At any wedding that I’ve been too, the wedding party consists of the best man, groomsmen, maid of honor, bridesmaid, etc. Their “wedding party” seems like a broad group of friends none of whom have a specific role. I realize that their are many different wedding practices, but have you heard of anything like this before?
Post # 7
@dwainwr123: Is there anyone else you know that’s supposedly in the “wedding party” you can ask if they’ve heard anything?
Post # 8
@dwainwr123: I haven’t heard of this, it seems odd to me. I agree with PP. Don’t plan anything until you get information from the groom about who he wants at the part and give you some contact info so that you can get in touch with everyone and plan.
Post # 9
@CaliHoya: Based on the replies on this page, I’ve decided that I’m not doing anything until I get more information. I’ve been trying to contact some of the couple’s friends to see who else is in the “wedding party”, and if anyone knows additional information about the wedding.