(Closed) Congratulatory cards…Do they need a thank-you?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BothCoasts:  Personally (what is “etiquette” aside), I probably wouldn’t have sent a thank you card (if I hadn’t seen your post and thought about it!). Perhaps you could give them a call, just say, hey, I got your card, thanks so much, maybe we can spend some time together before the baby comes blah blah blah (enter what you feel is appropriate here).

Post # 4
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Edit: I was up in the air, but I changed my mind. I think a simple phone call to say thank you would work. 🙂

Post # 5
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

No, you don’t send thank you notes for congratulatory cards. Best wishes to you though!

Post # 6
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with a phone call. Congrats!

Post # 8
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BothCoasts:  I’m not sure about the proper etiquette but when FH and I received congratulatory cards for our engagement, I sent back thank-you notes. I wanted to make sure they knew we received their card (they were also mostly people I wouldn’t call) and that their thought was appreciated. 

I think you could take it or leave it. Maybe just say to Mother-In-Law “We received a card from XX! Please pass on a ‘thank you’ for us!”.

Post # 8
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

No you do not send a thank you card for a card. You do not need to call each person either. If you get 50 cards, are you supposed to contact each person to say thanks? No, just make sure to say thanks when you see the person.

Post # 9
1699 posts
Bumble bee

In the domain of etiquette, “cards” are just another form of letter or note. Not that many years ago, people sent notes by mail on a regular basis unless they lived or worked closely enough to speak to one another in person. Notes and letters formed an ongoing conversation — you would nearly automatically reply to every note, just as you would, sooner or later, reply to every comment in a conversation. So yes, you would thank your friend for the card, in passing, in the course of your next letter which would largely discuss other things. But if you forgot to mention the last letter in your current reply, your friend would not notice nor was there an expectation by etiquette that you would do so.

Letters were like blogs, but with a much more limited readership.

And yet nowadays I know folk in their twenties now, who have never received a personal letter through the mail other than Christmas and birthday cards which rarely have more than five hand-written words in them! That seems rather sad to me, knowing the lively correspondences I enjoyed at their age. But of course, they send texts and email all over the world instantaneously, which is something I did not enjoy until twenty years ago or so. So, if you mention the card in your next text, email, private message or conversation, that will be gracious but not mandatory.

And if you are particularly inspired, send a real letter. National “Send a handwritten letter” Day in Canada is unofficially August 3. In the United States it was 17 January, but the campaign encourages Americans to send a handwritten letter on the 17th of every month — which gives participants the ability to experience an actual on-going correspondence.

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